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[@ChrisWillx] How Casual Sex Affects The Rest of Your Life

· 6 min read
[@ChrisWillx] Summarizer
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@ChrisWillx - "How Casual Sex Affects The Rest of Your Life"

Link: https://youtu.be/Q92MzlGYUqY

Short Summary​

Based on the discussion, a higher body count is generally correlated with lower success rates in long-term monogamous relationships, indicated by higher infidelity and divorce rates and lower relationship satisfaction. However, this is a correlational trend influenced by factors such as underlying motivations for sexual behavior and recent vs. past sexual activity, suggesting that socioexuality may be a more accurate predictor than body count alone.

Key Quotes​

Here are five quotes extracted from the YouTube video transcript that represent valuable insights, data points, or strong opinions:

  1. "People who love to have casual sex and sleep with lots of people and hop from relationship to relationship and as a result of all those behaviors end up with a higher number for their age than you would otherwise expect. Those people are less likely to succeed in long-term monogous pair bonds than people who do not like doing that and do not have that sort of track record. And that and when I say succeed, I mean in terms of every outcome measure, I mean, you know, more likely to get divorced, less likely to be satisfied in their relationships, uh more likely to cheat."

  2. "If you subdivided the data neatly and said people with a body count below five people with a body count above five what's their infidelity rate? The infidelity rate of the above five five group was double that of the below five group."

  3. "The single biggest predictor of extrammarital sex is premarital sex."

  4. "It's probably not a good idea if you want to marry for life, it's probably not a good idea to sew your wild oats. It's probably not a good idea to try and get it out of your system with the caveat that it's hard to know from the data with great confidence that um that there aren't individual cases where that actually is protected."

  5. "When you look at high body count people, many different routes up that. Maybe it's because of social approval. Maybe it's because of a need for connection. Maybe it's because of a difficulty with commitment. Maybe it's because of high socioexuality. Maybe it's because of a high sex drive. Maybe it's be whatever the whatever's going on. Maybe it's because of your job, right?"

Detailed Summary​

Okay, here is a detailed summary of the YouTube video transcript, broken down into bullet points, addressing the key topics, arguments, and information discussed.

Main Topic: The Impact of "Body Count" (Number of Sexual Partners) on Long-Term Relationship Success

  • Core Argument: Individuals with a higher number of sexual partners ("body count") are statistically less likely to succeed in long-term, monogamous relationships.

Supporting Evidence & Claims:

  • Lower Success Rates: Higher body count is correlated with:
    • Increased likelihood of divorce
    • Lower relationship satisfaction
    • Higher rates of infidelity
  • Infidelity Rates: Data suggests people with >5 partners have double the infidelity rate compared to those with <5 partners.
  • No Gender Difference: The speaker explicitly states that these effects are observed in both men and women, and in some cases, the effect is even stronger in men. This counters the common internet focus on this issue primarily concerning women.
  • Past Behavior Predicts Future Behavior: Having had casual sex in the past makes someone more likely to engage in it in the future. This is likened to developing habits, good or bad, like going to the gym versus abusing substances.
  • Affairs as Casual Sex: Infidelity is seen as a form of casual sex. Therefore, someone with a history of casual sex is statistically more prone to affairs.

Counterarguments and Nuances:

  • "Getting It Out of Your System" Rebuttal: The idea that high sexual activity "gets it out of your system" is dismissed. This argument is compared to illogical claims about alcohol or drug use, where early excess isn't expected to lead to future abstinence.
  • Unfulfilled Variation: The discussion acknowledges the possibility that some people stray due to a lack of sexual exploration early in life.
  • Correlational, Not Necessarily Causal: The speakers emphasize that the data primarily shows correlation. They cannot ethically test if preventing someone from exploring sexually will definitely decrease the likelihood of infidelity later.
  • Individual Variation: The speakers acknowledge that these are population-level trends and that individual exceptions exist.
  • Religious Observance: The video points out a counter example in those with no partners before marriage.
  • Inability to Rewind the Clock: The speakers note that they cannot know what would have happened had someone with a high body count had not created those experiences to start with.
  • Causal Effect: If someone wishes to sow their wild oats, is withholding that action going to make them less likely to cheat?
  • Context is Critical: The video emphasizes that the context behind a number of past sexual partners is key. Having multiple partners in committed relationships is very different from multiple partners from one-night stands or purely casual encounters.

Socioexuality and Its Interpretation

  • Socioexuality as the Core Issue: The video states that the reason "body count means anything is likely because it's a proxy for socioexuality".
  • Recency Matters: Recent sexual activity is a stronger indicator of current socioexuality than past activity.
  • Nuance is Needed: The video describes a research that looks at "recency" of sexual relations.

Predictors:

  • Premarital sex: Is mentioned as the single biggest predictor of extramarital sex, but questioned.
  • Relationship Dissatisfaction: Is discussed as an indicator of extramarital affairs.

Analogies and Examples:

  • Alcohol & Drugs: Used to illustrate the fallacy of "getting it out of your system."
  • Gym: Used to illustrate the building of healthy habits.
  • Getting Fat Analogy: Utilized to show how different situations can cause a similar outcome.

Key Takeaways and Practical Advice:

  • Avoid Caveman Thinking: Don't oversimplify it to "high body count = bad."
  • Consider the Context: Look at the nature and context of the relationships/encounters. Were they long-term, committed relationships, or casual encounters?
  • Assess Socioexuality: Try to understand the person's overall attitude and behavior towards sex and relationships.
  • Don't Panic: The information should be seen as interesting data, not necessarily a directive for how to live one's life or choose a partner.