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[@ChrisWillx] The Rise of “Princess Treatment” - Louise Perry & Mary Harrington

· 6 min read
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@ChrisWillx - "The Rise of “Princess Treatment” - Louise Perry & Mary Harrington"

Link: https://youtu.be/-vk-WLvXbvg

Short Summary​

Here's a concise summary of the YouTube video transcript:

The video discusses the "princess treatment" trend, exploring its connection to tradwife ideologies and lifestyle BDSM, suggesting they share underlying power dynamics related to submission and control. The conversation also touches on the formation of virtuous men, the dynamics of male competition, and the potential downsides of traditional gender roles, including financial dependence and abuse.

Key Quotes​

Here are five quotes extracted from the transcript that represent interesting insights:

  1. "There's a continuity between um right-wing right-wing complimentarian tradwife discourse and lifestyle BDSM which it seems to me is just it's it's really just a question of inflection but it's basically the same conversation." This highlights an unexpected connection between seemingly disparate cultural phenomena.

  2. "Women do this simultaneous like I'm so submissive and it's there's a lot of humble brag going on as well. Like by the way, my husband could afford to buy the long nails on her high heels." This speaks to the complexities of online displays of traditional gender roles and the potential power dynamics at play.

  3. "...assuming it's a long-term affectionate relationship that every that both both parties want to continue and sustain and maintain, then actually the person who's who's formally giving way all the time has a lot of say because the other person has to second guess what they want all the time." This offers a nuanced perspective on power within relationships, even those that appear hierarchical.

  4. "Women don't help you win. They just wait at the finish line to see who goes first." This quote, reflecting male competition theory, is provocative and challenges assumptions about how men and women interact.

  5. "...if we want good men, we need to be forming good men. And actually what forms men is not women, it's other men. Um, and so and I'm not sure we think nearly hard enough or specifically enough or concretely enough about how we go about forming men." This points to the importance of male mentorship and guidance in the development of positive male role models.

Detailed Summary​

Okay, here's a detailed summary of the YouTube video transcript, broken down into bullet points, covering the key topics, arguments, and information discussed:

I. Introduction & Merchandise Promotion

  • The video starts with a promotion for "Modern Wisdom" merchandise, specifically a hoodie.
  • The merch is available for pre-sale for only 5 days, ending November 18th.
  • The speaker emphasizes the effort and quality put into the designs and encourages viewers to purchase the merchandise at mwmerch.com.

II. Discussion on "Princess Treatment" & its Implications

  • Definition: "Princess Treatment" is defined as gestures made by partners (presumably male) towards women, such as bringing lattes in bed, flowers every Friday, partner funded pedicures, and opening doors.
  • Reductio ad Absurdum: Examples of extreme interpretations of "Princess Treatment" are presented, like a woman expecting to be served in a restaurant without interacting with staff or ordering herself.
  • Lifestyle BDSM Parallel: The conversation then shifts to the comparison between "Princess Treatment," tradwife ideals, and lifestyle BDSM.
    • It's suggested that the "humble brag" aspect, like a woman flaunting her husband's wealth while claiming to be submissive, plays a role.
    • The power dynamics are analyzed: Even in seemingly submissive roles, women can wield significant influence through social media presence and indirectly controlling their partner's behavior.

III. Power Dynamics in Relationships

  • Even in complementary gender roles, or BDSM relationships, the "submissive" partner has a degree of control, since the "dominant" one has to anticipate their needs to keep the relationship stable.
  • The speakers differentiate between complimentary gender roles and sexualized gender role play, as the former is to make the household run smoothly and the latter is for sexual gratification, often for an online audience.
  • The "princess treatment" concept is compared to BDSM in that the partner of the woman in need of "princess treatment" has to anticipate her wants and needs, essentially giving the woman control.

IV. The Danger of Extremes & Potential for Abuse

  • The discussion acknowledges the potential for abuse in relationships where one partner has excessive control, leading to financial imprisonment and coercive control.
  • The line between being "looked after" and losing financial independence is highlighted.
  • The rise of divorce rates is mentioned, requiring people to have a backup plan in case the relationship fails.

V. The Role of Social Media & Religious Communities

  • The appearance of extreme complementary gender roles in social media and religious communities is discussed.
  • Social media content can provide a financial safety net, even if the relationship is unequal.
  • The example of "Ballerina Farm," an Instagram influencer who presents a traditional lifestyle, is used to illustrate the complex dynamics of control, business, and online perception.
    • The discussion touches on whether her lifestyle is truly oppressive or a deliberate choice, fueled by a desire to do things "the hard way."
    • The presence of a production team behind her content is noted, adding another layer of complexity.
  • Religious communities can provide a scaffolding for relationships, but abuse is still possible.
  • The speakers talk about a situation where a women could profit from a divorce if her branding outlived the relationship. However, there were instances of abuse occurring within that framework as well.

VI. The Importance of Virtuous Men & Male Competition

  • The conversation shifts to the importance of raising "virtuous men" and the role of male kin in protecting women from abuse.
  • Traditional recourse for women being mistreated was for their male kin to step in.
  • Traditional male competition is brought up. The speakers talk about a study where women rated men on attractiveness and men rated them on intimidation. The attractiveness rating was not correlated with sex partners, while the intimidation rating was highly correlated.
  • It is also pointed out that many men are given advice on how to behave in a manner that would make women feel more comfortable, even though that's not what is predictive of sexual success.

VII. AG1 Advertisement

  • A brief advertisement for AG1 NextGen, a health supplement, is included.

VIII. Outro

  • The video ends with a thank you to viewers and a call to action to watch more content.