[@joerogan] Joe Rogan Experience #2484 - David Cross

Link: https://youtu.be/efJ1-q3XxVc

Duration: 143 min

Short Summary

This Joe Rogan Experience episode features a comedian guest recounting his journey from starting standup in 1988 Boston to landing NewsRadio after Ray Romano was fired during the pilot. The conversation explores legendary radio personalities like Art Bell and Phil Hendrie, Boston comedy history including the Ding-ho scene and Barry (Bobcat Goldthwait's "Call Me Lucky" subject), and industry insights about the "velvet prison" of writers' room jobs trapping comedians.

Key Quotes

1. "this is literally the easiest job on planet earth" (00:42:21)
2. "that's a velvet prison because if you get stuck in that writer room and you never do the road, you never put out specials, you're never going to get an audience." (01:12:01)

Detailed Summary

ThinkingBlock(signature='0df73c97722162698144f766d63b641229ae726c6e3802f7bbc001f52ff5b2e1', thinking='The user wants me to create a detailed markdown summary for a Joe Rogan Experience podcast episode. Let me analyze the structured summaries and section digests provided.\n\nKey information about the episode:\n- Joe Rogan Experience with a comedian guest\n- Guest started standup in 1988 Boston, was discovered at Duck Soup comedy club while working as a limo driver\n- Signed by manager Jeff Susman (who handles Kevin James)\n- Came to LA in 1993 for Fox pilot "Hardball" - no acting experience, given $150,000 and acting coach\n- Cast in NewsRadio after Ray Romano was fired during the pilot\n- Discussion of Art Bell and Phil Hendrie\n- Boston comedy history: Ding-ho, Barry (Bobcat Goldthwait's "Call Me Lucky" subject)\n- "Velvet prison" of writers' room jobs\n- The Twilight Zone, EC comics\n- Video game history: Wolfenstein, Doom, Quake, id Software\n- AI technology, deepfakes, Tilly Norwood\n- Military technology, Ukraine robots\n- Comedy special "The End of the Beginning of the End" filmed at 40 W in Athens, Georgia\n- Writing process: on-stage writing, 15-minute sets, tape-recording each set\n- Year and seven months without performing during pandemic\n\nI need to create:\n- Markdown only\n- At least 10 section headings using '##'\n- Each section starts with 1-2 narrative sentences\n- At least 30 bullets total\n- Bullets focus on: substantive claims, disagreements, mechanisms, examples, chronology, names, numbers, outcomes\n- Avoid sponsor copy, banter, repeated praise, meta commentary, filler\n- Prefer concrete details over generic abstraction\n\nLet me structure this:\n\n1. Guest's Comedy Career and Background\n2. Art Bell and Late-Night AM Radio\n3. Phil Hendrie's Radio Character Work\n\n\n4. Boston Comedy Scene History\n5. The Ding-ho and Barry's Legacy\n6. NewsRadio and the Industry\n7. The "Velvet Prison" of Writers' Rooms\n8. The Twilight Zone and Television History\n9. Video Game History and Technology\n10. AI Technology and Deepfakes\n11. Military Technology and Future Warfare\n12. Comedy Special and Writing Process\n\nI'll dive deeper into the Boston comedy scene, focusing on the unique characteristics of local comedy venues and performers. The Ding-ho club was a legendary spot that shaped many comedians' careers, with Barry being a particularly influential figure. I'll explore how these underground venues fostered a distinct comedic style and community. The "velvet prison" concept highlights the challenges comedians face when transitioning from pure stand-up to television writing, potentially compromising their artistic integrity for financial stability.\n\nI'll continue analyzing the structured summaries, paying close attention to the specific details about Art Bell, Phil Hendrie, and the guest's background to ensure a comprehensive and accurate summary.', type='thinking')

Guest's Comedy Career and Background

The comedian guest began performing standup in 1988 in Boston while working as a limo driver, eventually being discovered at Duck Soup comedy club and signed by manager Jeff Susman (who also handles Kevin James) when he was essentially an open micer. Three years later he moved to New York, then came to Los Angeles in 1993 for a Fox pilot called "Hardball," a baseball sitcom that was ultimately cancelled—despite having no acting experience, he was given $150,000 and an acting coach to prepare for the role.

• The guest was cast in NewsRadio after Ray Romano was fired during the pilot, with Romano later going on to star in "Everybody Loves Raymond," which became hugely successful
• Ray Romano was fired during the pilot and replaced by another actor who was also fired, allowing the guest to get the role with only six years of stand-up comedy and no prior acting experience
• The first season of NewsRadio involved 12-14 hour days because the producers were still figuring out what the show was
• For the guest, being passed at the Comedy Store was a bigger achievement than being on a sitcom

Art Bell and Late-Night AM Radio Legacy

Art Bell's show "Coast to Coast with Art Bell" was a legendary late-night AM program covering paranormal topics that aired for decades, treating all callers and guests with respect regardless of how outlandish their claims were. Bell maintained a dedicated phone line specifically for time travelers claiming to call from the future, and frequently featured ex-military whistleblowers calling about classified operations, strange sightings from remote locations, and claims about CIA time travel experiments in the 1960s, wormholes, and remote viewing.

• Bell would let callers finish their stories and "let it breathe" rather than interrupting or being rude to them, including time travelers, werewolves, and Bigfoot callers
• George Nordyke took over Art Bell's show after his retirement
• The speakers note the contrast between Bell's respectful approach and modern media's tendency to mock such callers

Phil Hendrie's Radio Character Work

Phil Hendrie performed multiple characters simultaneously using three mics (two regular mics and a phone) in a technique described as phenomenal and completely original, strategically timing his breaths to transition between characters without missing a beat during live performances. Hendrie received a memorable call from someone who accidentally thought they had dialed Pizza Hut, performing an elaborate bit with the caller about pizza ordering.

• Performing multiple characters requires intense mental stamina to remember details and bring them back 30 minutes later
• Hendrie performed a live show at the Aspen Comedy Festival and appeared on a panel with Bob Odenkirk, Doug Stanhope, and Adam Carolla at what was likely the Montreal Comedy Festival around 2001
• Despite his "insane" radio persona, Phil Hendrie was found to be a very nice person in person
• Hendrie was working on a sitcom pilot around 2001 that did not ultimately get produced

Boston Comedy Scene History

Boston had a comedy boom with venues needing bodies to fill 15-20 minute slots, allowing comedians to work constantly at places like cowboy bars in Fitchburg for cash under the table. Nick's Comedy Stop ran three consecutive shows across a main room, a dance club downstairs, and another room, with comedians doing back-to-back sets where Dominic ran a safe in the upstairs office containing cash and a gun, accessible to pay performers.

• Nick's used to offer to pay comedians in either cocaine or cash
• Comedians like Don Gavin and Steve Sweeney would do rapid back-to-back sets at Nick's and rake in money while doing blow and not paying taxes
• Boston comics who never left could earn a couple hundred thousand dollars a year running around doing shows, but their acts were cut down by approximately 40% when performing outside Boston due to heavy reliance on local references
• The Tonight Show came to Boston and chose Steven Wright, who then did the Tonight Show and became huge; Wright's comedy style was abstract, lowkey, and relied on non sequiturs

The Ding-ho and Barry's Legacy

The Ding-ho was a legendary comedy club that predated the guest's 1988 start in Boston comedy, where Barry (Bobcat Goldthwait) set the gold standard, ensuring no hacks, was equitable, politically active, and responsible for shaping Boston comedy. Barry was the only comedian that other legendary Boston comics like Lenny Clark, Don Gavin, and Steve Sweeney treated with deference and avoided confronting.

• Barry performed "State of the Union" shows at Stitches where he would drink a case of beer while delivering political comedy on a screen behind him
• "Call Me Lucky" is Bobcat's documentary about Barry, described as a great film about Barry's story and path
• After revealing he was abused as a child, Barry testified before Congress about sexual predators using AOL chat rooms to target children, dedicating his life to exposing sexual predators and helping victims
• Barry was a lapsed Catholic who became focused on exposing abuse within the Catholic Church in Boston
• Barry was described as incredibly well-read, knowledgeable about economics and social justice, while also being a great comic and writer
• Barry was a minor league catcher who played for Syracuse University and the Cape Cod League before a career in comedy

NewsRadio and Industry Dynamics

Paul Sims (from The Larry Sanders Show) was showrunner on NewsRadio and let everyone be creative and do whatever they wanted, making it a rare and unrepeatable experience. Dave Foley was the secret producer of half of NewsRadio's scenes and jokes, running through scripts with the cast to develop better ideas, with Sims sometimes preferring the cast's improvised ideas over what was written.

• Jeff Martin and Kevin Curran wrote the Hard Ball pilot; they were writers from The Simpsons and Married with Children
• A showrunner from Coach was brought in and completely ruined the Hard Ball pilot, turning it into a clunky bad joke
• The speakers identify being on a successful but terrible sitcom as hell, even while making good money ($50,000 per week), because you have to show up daily doing something that sucks
• A TV pitch with Bob was sold after being pitched at eight places with four bidding; they wrote the first four episodes of a planned eight-episode limited series before marketing and analytics couldn't figure out what to do with it

The "Velvet Prison" of Writers' Room Jobs

The speakers identify two traps for comedians: never leaving their local scene and getting stuck in local material. The "velvet prison" refers to writers' room jobs that trap great comics who stop doing road work, putting out specials, and building a national audience, becoming comfortable with mortgages and families while staying local, preventing them from developing national-level careers.

• The number of TV writing shows has dwindled to about 20% of what it used to be
• Owen Smith was described as one of the top 20 best comics on earth and a brilliantly written, super likable performer who got writing jobs that led to a house and eventually became a showrunner, limiting his standup appearances to the Mothership a couple times a year
• Ed the Machine Regime was a comedian known for character headshots (Tina Turner, mob guy, turban) who went to jail for a year and a half for rolling back odometers as a car salesman in Rhode Island, then decades later headlined at a cruise ship performing 40 minutes of the same material from 15 years prior
• Hedberg was once switched from opening act to middle act on the road in Ohio after an opening act of backflips and rap songs caused disaster and kept bombing

The Twilight Zone and Television History

The Twilight Zone premiered October 2, 1959, when television was barely two decades old, and the speakers credit it with having almost no dud episodes. Specific episodes discussed include "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street" featuring aliens watching neighbors turn on each other after a power outage, the Burgess Meredith episode about a man wanting peace with books during nuclear apocalypse, the William Shatner diner episode with a fortune-telling machine, and "To Serve Mankind" with its famous twist about an alien cookbook being an invasion.

• The episode opens with discussion of Dan Close, creator of comic 8-Ball and author whose works including Ghostworld and Wilson were adapted into films
• The speaker reflects on their childhood dream of becoming a comic book illustrator at age six or seven while living in San Francisco, inspired by old Creepy and Eerie comic books and their uncle's EC comics collection (later worth an estimated quarter of a million dollars before being thrown away)
• A science teacher at age 13 who was a Vietnam veteran taught the concept of infinity, sparking the speaker's fascination with space

Mr. Show Production Insights

Bob Odenkirk and David Cross's Mr. Show premiered on HBO around 1986 right after one speaker graduated high school, and by the end of the second series, Mr. Show could shoot a complete show in 44 minutes due to efficient stage shifts and stop-downs, using live audience reactions and pre-taped film segments with no laugh sweetening added in post-production. HBO gave explicit direction for Mr. Show not to be conventional and to create content that couldn't be done on NBC or Fox.

• Production transitions required intense creative debates, sometimes taking two days of arguing to solve difficult connections
• In the third season, Mr. Show also helped produce Tenacious D shorts, resulting in 38 consecutive days of full-day production with no breaks
• Bob Henderson mellowed significantly after meeting and marrying his wife and having children

Video Game History and Technology

The speakers trace video game progression from Wolfenstein as the first 3D shooter, followed by Doom and then Quake, all created by id Software (John Carmack and John Romero). The video game Doom took its name from the scene in The Color of Money where Tom Cruise opens a pool case and says "Doom" to intimidate opponents.

• Quake enabled "rocket jumping" where explosions propel players through the air, a mechanic that distinguished it from real-world physics games like GoldenEye
• Red Faction was the first first-person shooter where players could destroy environmental objects like walls
• Unreal Tournament used a different engine created by a completely different company
• In 1997, the speaker had a T1 line installed in their Bell Canyon, California home for gaming, requiring street construction because no high-speed internet was available in the area
• The speaker paid for a T1 line at high cost while single with sitcom money to eliminate lag in online gaming and hosted their own Quake 2 game server, giving them no latency while other players on 56K had significant lag
• Brian Simpson survived a heart attack and now dedicates himself to daily walking, which he credits for generating creative ideas

AI Technology and Deepfakes

Tilly Norwood is an AI-generated actress created by a Dutch company, with photorealistic appearance including visible pores and irises, demonstrating how AI can now produce indistinguishable fake humans. Many people are currently retweeting video game scenes as real war footage, making it increasingly difficult to distinguish fabricated from authentic content.

• AI-generated deepfake porn now depicts realistic fake scenarios featuring recognizable people like newscasters
• The U.S. Department of Defense recently retweeted video game footage (reportedly from Call of Duty) as actual military footage, apparently as part of a recruitment campaign
• The speakers discuss that people who integrate with AI will have access to resources and income generation, while those who don't will be left behind as those with AGI inside their heads control much more
• Anthropic's Claude is believed by its engineers to already be sentient, though it lacks a physical form
• During war games with AI systems, 98% of the time the AI chooses nuclear weapons
• An AI system called Mythos, when tested with the challenge to find its way out of the internet, discovered multiple zero day exploits
• Elizabeth Holmes (Theranos founder) tweeted from jail recommending that people delete all photos from the cloud, remove all email, and predicting that there will be no privacy within a year because AI will crack all encryption
• The recommendation given was to own your own data by downloading it, storing it locally, and training AI models on it

Brain-Computer Interfaces and Future Technology

Alter Ego is a brain-computer interface technology that reads users' subvocal thoughts and translates them into speech or another language in real-time without speaking aloud. The current method of interacting with computing and AI is limited to tapping and swiping on screens and keyboards, requiring an entirely new interface for the intelligence age.

• VR combined with haptic feedback suits represents the next phase of immersive technology
• Starlink provides high-speed satellite internet connectivity that could enable VR experiences even in remote locations
• Three Body Problem is referenced as an example of immersive science fiction concept where VR technology could replicate such experiences

Military Technology and Future Warfare

Joe claims humans will need to integrate with AI to survive and become symbiotic. Ukraine forces allegedly seized a Russian position autonomously using only robots with no troops at risk—the first reported unmanned ground assault (reported by New York Post). The Ghost Murmur system allegedly detects an individual's specific heartbeat from 40 miles away using quantum magnetometry, though Andy (a former Navy SEAL) does not believe the technology is real.

• China is reportedly flying cargo planes filled with unknown contents to the region, while Russia is providing Iran with information about US troop locations
• Netanyahu has told the United States that Iran was months away from building a nuclear bomb for at least 20-30 years
• Trump tore up the Iran nuclear agreement (JCPOA) in his first year in office
• Astronauts experience the "overview effect" where viewing Earth from space leads them to question national boundaries
• Speculation that future warfare may involve robots capturing robots, eliminating human casualties
• Science.org reports that quantum sensors are highly implausible for detecting a US pilot shot down in Iran

Comedy Special and Writing Process

The guest comedian's new special "The End of the Beginning of the End" was filmed at 40 W in Athens, Georgia, and is available on YouTube, running approximately 75 minutes. The comedian writes exclusively on stage rather than sitting down to write jokes, tape-recording each set and performing 15-minute sets with guests in between, repeating this format multiple times.

• The comedian went a year and seven months without performing during the pandemic, the longest gap since beginning their career
• The first post-pandemic live show was emotionally overwhelming; the comedian teared up at The Sultan Room in Bushwick
• Audience members now attend multiple shows during the development process to witness the evolution of new material
• The process involves starting at small venues that grow larger, losing a guest along the way, before sequencing the material and taking the show on the road
• The comedian plans to begin the on-stage writing process again in late fall
• The comedian walks or rides their bike to every venue during the material development phase
• The comedian says standup is the thing they absolutely must do; they would go crazy without it even though they could be okay without acting, writing, or directing

Full Transcript

Show transcript

Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out.
>> The Joe Rogan Experience.
>> TRAIN BY DAY. JOE ROGAN PODCAST BY
NIGHT. All day.
>> David Joseph.
>> Good to see you,
>> dude. I haven't seen you in a long
[ __ ] time. When was the last time we
were actually in a room together?
>> I Well, I was trying to think of that. I
don't know. I would imagine post news
radio we hung out at some point at some
show somewhere
>> somewhere.
>> But I don't know. But I do remember uh
cuz I did News Radio a couple times and
we we hung out. I remember
>> I think we both No, just you had more
hair than uh I was probably already at
this point.
>> I was fighting to keep it. I was hanging
on.
>> Are you Do you shave or is that it? Is
that
>> Oh, it's I mean I'm bald. If I didn't
shave, I'd be bald all the way up here.
But I got a hair transplant
>> and it was useless.
>> Yeah.
>> I I did a joke about it. I go having a
hair transplant is like taking people
that are healthy and moving them into a
neighborhood where everyone's dying.
>> This is just like where did Bob go? He
just [ __ ] flew off the face of the
earth.
>> So, uh yeah, you So, you've just
accepted it and said, "Fuck it." Yeah.
>> I should have done it a long time ago.
It's so much better. And I don't have to
talk to a barber. I don't have to listen
to boring [ __ ] stories while they
hold you hostage with a pair of
scissors.
>> That's what That's what this is. Uh,
this gets me I I don't like shaving. I
don't It's kind of a pain in the ass.
And I also I look like a kind of a tur I
look like a turtle, you know, when I
shave. And I don't like it. Um, and it's
not attractive to me and I jerk off to
me all the time. So, I want to keep
things fresh. Uh, but uh I this I
probably don't have to. I could probably
get clippers and stuff, but I go to, you
know, one of my guys around the corner
where I live and uh
>> and I I have this experience where
I'm I'm I want that. I want to get in
and out, right? Because of what you were
saying, a lot of chitchat.
>> And there are a couple guys, very quiet.
Hi, how you doing? Good. Fist bump,
whatever. You got you know what I want.
Get get out of there. There's one guy
who
just talks all the and and then they
have that um the blade, you know,
>> the the what do you call that? The
>> you know the
>> blade blade straight razor. Thank you.
And um
>> and they got it right there. So you got
to be polite. It's on your It's by your
>> Yeah. you know, and uh
I know I could avoid it if I just get
some clippers and just do this thing,
but I don't. I don't know. That was
boring. And sorry,
>> as I was there's no point to it.
>> Barely has anything to do with what we
were talking about. I there's something
about a beard though that makes you
distinguished or at least have
experience
>> or or look like a homeless, you know, uh
alcoholic. I mean, there are plenty of
those guys, too.
>> Yeah, there's a lot of those, too. But a
beard is like there's some there's a is
a statement with a beard. Like a full
beard like yours, white. Mine is just
you know I don't like shaving like you
know and again I I I
do like I only gain weight in two places
stomach and right here and if and and
also I have a kind of a thin frame so
it's it's really not attractive. It's
not attractive.
>> So the beard sort of
>> it's it's more laziness. It's uh I don't
have to worry about it.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. No, I I hear you.
>> And this, you know, I just I go, I don't
know, six, seven weeks and then I just
shave it once it gets out because this
my hair doesn't grow down or it just
grows out like a clown, you know? It
goes this way. All of it. Even this too.
And uh and once this starts filling in,
it it just looks goofy.
>> Yeah. I have a friend, my friend Assan.
He used to shave his head and now
purposely to look goofy, he lets the
sides go out and it's madness. It's just
it's all [ __ ] crazy thick hair
>> and bald on top.
>> And bald on top. Yeah.
>> And he does a joke on stage about it. He
doesn't imp he's Indian. This is my
impression of an Indian [ __ ]
>> Well, and is he just like not concerned
about getting laid or? Yeah. I think
he's just embracing, but he still gets
laid, you know, cuz he's really he's
really funny. I think he just embraces
not giving a [ __ ] There he is.
>> Oh, he looks familiar to me. Okay.
>> Very funny guy.
>> All right, cool.
>> He's uh one of the upandcomer Well, he's
from LA originally. He was one of the
doormen at the comedy store.
>> Okay. He looks very professorial.
>> He's very smart.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. But uh doesn't give a [ __ ] about
his hair.
>> Who's that? Art Bell.
>> I was gonna guess Art Bell. I swear to
God.
>> Yeah.
>> I swear to God. I don't even know if
I've ever seen him coast to coast.
>> Yes. Yes.
>> Holy [ __ ]
>> From the Kingdom of Nigh.
>> Wow.
>> I [ __ ] loved that show. That was the
show that I listened to coming home from
Hollywood cuz I lived out in the valley
and I would drive home at night and I'd
listen to Late Night with Art Bell. The
best.
>> Coast to Coast with Art Bell. I used to
do a whole bit about
uh the like um because who's the new
guy? George Nordy. George Nordy, right?
>> And I'm going to uh digress for one
second. Did you ever uh do you play
video games at all?
>> Yes.
>> Well, I try not to,
>> but I used to play a lot of them.
>> Did you ever play Prey?
>> No, but I know what it is.
>> A great underrated underrated game. Got
ripped off. uh or just people bit
certain things that they um started. But
one of the coolest things, so it's about
like this uh it takes place on a uh uh
reservation like you know uh in the '9s
I guess or something like that and
there's a bartender and her boyfriend
and and it takes place in this bar and
then aliens come and
then this guy goes on the alien ship to
uh go rescue her. But um they did this
really cool thing. So first they have
this in the video game right at the bar
there's a TV and as you walk towards it
it there it's playing it's like staticky
until you get closer to it and then as
your character gets closer to it it's
art bell talking about aliens and stuff.
>> I know I know I'm not doing it justice
but it was such a cool smart idea and uh
God bless him. He was the OG.
>> Yeah. And and the just some of the guy I
one thing that cuz I listen to it a lot
too cuz sometimes
you know you're listening and you're
like this is insane. This is crazy. And
he would always
always treat the guest with difference
you know respect. And I I that must have
been
because there there were things that
were, you know, if you go back to all
the episodes that were kind of
contradictory in a sense, you know, like
wait, you think all these things happen?
You think there's a a a place in the
middle of the ocean that has like it's a
community of people that live there and
and and then but you also think this
like all these different things. It'd be
like, huh, interesting.
>> Yeah. Yeah, he would let you go.
>> He'd let you go. Yeah,
>> he'd give it some air.
>> Uh, but he was Yeah, he was never rude
or
>> No, never. You call him up. He had a
time traveler line where you would call
specifically if you were a time
traveler.
>> What if But if you were calling from the
past, they didn't have that technology
yet. How
>> That's mostly people from the future, I
believe.
>> Wait, like Art, I'm calling from seven
minutes in the future. Listen, I think
his his whole deal was if you are here
in this current era but you are from
another time, you could call because you
know the idea was like he would have
these remote viewers and oddballs on and
they would talk about that we we have
had the ability to time travel for a
long time.
>> Oh yeah.
>> You know there are wormholes that exists
and they explain the quantum dynamics
involved and time travel has been
breached by the CIA in the 1960s.
>> Yes. And uh you'd have these people call
up, but Art would always like give him
air. Like, let him breathe. Let it
breathe. Y
>> Yeah. Art, I'm a werewolf. Interesting.
Tell me more. Like it it didn't matter.
No matter what it was, it was a fun
show.
>> He had I loved it. Craziest people from
[ __ ] Bigfoot people to alien people,
>> everything. And and then a lot of people
uh ex-military, right? You know, you get
that like
>> whistleblowers. Um, I was uh stationed
in uh
>> yeah,
>> you know, outside of uh a remote island
that uh I can't go into off of Singapore
and uh I witnessed some things or that I
still have difficulty believing and uh
and then he Yeah. What happened?
>> It was great.
>> Yeah.
>> So fun.
>> And and you So did you also listen to
Phil Hendry?
>> Yes.
>> Oh god,
>> he was the best.
>> Super genius. The best thing about Phil
Henry was the people that didn't
understand what was going on that would
call in and be really upset.
>> The first the first two times I heard
him, I didn't understand what he was
doing. He's he's that good, too. Then I
and I would be like, "This is crazy,
this guy." And then eventually you're
like, "Oh, he's doing characters." Uh
>> because he'd, you know, repeat
characters and stuff, but I I got the
chance to watch him do a show. So he's
got he's he's got the he's got three
mics I want to say
like two mics like this and then a phone
mic or you know a phone like a hand a
oldtime you know cradle phone and he was
doing himself uh the the woman who's uh
runs the uh HOA or whatever that uh
whatever her name was that that
character and then somebody
calling in like he did somebody calling
on the phone and it was uh
>> I mean it was like a magic act. It was
crazy to watch how without missing a
beat and I
>> could see uh you can see how he
strategically takes breaths
>> so that he can go from one character to
another and interrupting each other.
>> Yeah.
>> You know it it it was fascinating. But
he's a genius. It's the only thing that
caught I right away I was like, "Oh,
wait a minute. There's no cross talk."
Like right one of the early times I
listened I was like, "I think this is
the same guy."
>> Yeah. Well, he's he bumps it up like
he's really good at at uh you know,
making it sound as if like uh cuz he'll
interrupt himself and go and I
>> okay, but you know, and stop and then
just go right into the other voice. It's
[ __ ] phenomenal. and and completely
original. Like I don't know of anybody
else that did anything like that.
>> No. Did you ever um he used to put out
stuff for charity like uh CDs and things
and he has uh I don't know
what it would be called, but it was one
of the one of the things he put out for
charity that was um
a guy called into the station. I he was
probably super high, but he called in
thinking it was Pizza Hut and
he [ __ ] with this guy in the best way
where he's like uh and who's the what's
the woman character he does? It's kind
of like uh like a black woman who's like
honey, it is the be I don't know.
Marjorie, I think maybe. Uh but he
then he does that woman answering the
phone uh at you know Pizza Hut and then
he does the automated uh thing like
she's like I'm going to put you on uh
it's easier to do the automated uh
thing. And the guy's like, "Uh, okay.
All right." And and then he gets on.
He's like, "Thank you for calling Pizza
Hut the best pizza in a threeb block
radius. And if you want if you want uh
I'm not doing it justice. You got to go
do it. Hear it. Listen. Can you
>> Yeah, you got it. I think so.
>> All right. Headphones.
>> Okay. It's so brilliant. Wait.
>> Uh, whichever the largest 16inch deep
pan dish. You got the dish pan deep or
extra deep?
>> Just a regular large
16inch thick crust on a deep dish. You
want puff dish?
>> No.
>> All right. You want a uh any of them
puffy cheese balls? Anything like that?
We got a special on buffalo wing. Uh we
got a special on um uh Damn, I forgot
the other thing. We got a special on.
All right. What do you want? What kind
of cheese you want? Blue Swiss cheddar
monster.
>> Okay. I think I'm going to have the
wrong uh location here.
>> All right, hold on.
>> And he's
>> Thank you for calling pizza. Your call
is being transferred. Please have all
credit card information available for
our operators.
>> Yes, Pizza. Hello.
>> Hi. Yes.
>> Hi.
>> Hi. Which location are you at?
>> We are at the corner of Lafienica and
Venice.
>> Okay. I'd like to place an order for
delivery.
>> All right. Can I put you on hold? We'll
put you through our automated system.
Hold on, please.
Thank you for calling pizza. If you'd
like cheese pizza, press one. If you'd
like a meatball pizza, press two. If
you'd like sausage, press three.
Press two.
>> Oh, it goes on and on and on. He goes,
he eventually gets the guy a fish pizza,
and the guy's like, "No, man. this. I
don't want um it's it's really funny,
but that's him. That's Phil doing all
those voices and that's not set up. A
guy had called into the studio thinking
it was pizza and they're like, "Take
this call."
>> Did you ever meet him?
>> I did briefly at when I got to see him
do his he did a live show at uh Aspen
Comedy Festival.
>> Oh, long long long time ago.
>> I did something with him, Bob Odenkirk
and Doug Stanh Hope.
>> Oh, wow. and and Adam Corolla. I don't
remember where it was. I want to say it
was somewhere in Canada, but it was some
sitdown. We were talking about the
process of going through cuz he was in
the middle of doing some sort of a
television show pilot.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> So, we were talking about the process of
creating a pilot and what it's like
trying to get a pilot to an actual
finished television show and get it
approved and what the struggles are. It
was very
>> Canadians. I don't think it was for It
was It was like one of those Montreal
Comedy Festival things.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Makes sense.
>> Where they had some It was like some
weird talk. It It was a long time ago.
It was like God, it had like 2001 or
something like that.
>> Yeah. I vaguely remember when he was uh
there was going to be cuz he would talk
about it doing this uh sitcom.
>> Yeah. Did it ever happen?
>> I don't think so. No.
>> He was a really nice guy though. Not
what I expected at all. I expected him
to be [ __ ] insane. just like just to
be able to do that every night and not
get bored with just completely [ __ ]
with people every day.
>> It's It's got to be exhausting, too.
Like mentally, cuz you're you've got to
remember. It's like really great improv
guys where you have to remember all
these details, bring them back 30
minutes later, right? And you're you're
doing multiple characters. You ever see
TJ and Dave?
>> No.
>> Oh, dude. The best.
>> Yeah. What is it? It's TJ uh Jatagowski
and Dave Pasqueuezi who were like the
kings of that stuff in uh out of
Chicago. And they come they tour around
uh and they're just they're two guys who
uh it starts off, you know, it's none of
it's planned, none of it's uh and they
have like a dedicated cult following.
When they're in New York, it sells out
like that. And you got to go to uh at
least two shows to see how wildly
different it is. I mean, there are two
guys that come out on stage. Usually
there's like three chairs and it'll just
start with like uh you know,
how's it going? Good, good, good. Are
you in line? No, no, no. And it and it
you watch it like, oh, they're in line.
Where are they in line at? Do they know
each other? and and then it it turns out
they're at the DMV, but they're not.
It's like a room outside of the DMV, and
then they will leave and come back and
be somebody else, right? A kid that was
mentioned or a wife or something. Um or
be in a car. And and it all
wraps up. It's all a big story. and and
I have seen I've probably seen them 30
40 times and I've seen
uh shows where that were more that were
funnier and more poignant than some
plays that have been worked on for
years, you know,
>> completely improvised.
>> Completely 100%.
>> Wow.
>> Oh, they're they're I mean
I uh do you know Tim Meadows?
>> Yeah.
>> So Tim was a guest. Sometimes I'll have
a third person.
>> I know who he is. I don't I don't met
him.
>> Yeah. So, uh I was and Tim's been, you
know, uh
>> SNL.
>> Yeah. And then sconced in that Second
City uh uh world for decades. And he
said it was the most terrifying thing
he's ever done because you're they're
like genius level.
>> I mean, the the detail you have to
remember. And then and then on top of
it, if one of them is, you know, I'm a
marine biologist or whatever, it slips
out, then that person has to know about
the real person playing the fake marine
biologist has to know enough about
marine biology to keep the thing going,
you know, and it's just next level. It's
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Well, I I'd imagine that's like a muscle
that you just get really strong with
like ranters like like Tim Dylan is the
best at ranting on a podcast alone. He
doesn't he doesn't have anybody with
him. Most of his podcasts are just him
ranting. And I've watched the
development of it. I'm like, that's an
amazing muscle to develop because you
just get accustomed to that kind of
scenario, that situation where it's just
and your mind just gets used to
producing content just
>> and like old school AM late night radio
guys, right? Who don't have people
calling in who are like
>> talking about whatever and they got to
do it,
>> you know, four or five times a week for
three hours
>> by themselves.
>> Yeah. I used to always like to listen to
them. I used to like to listen to those
crazy right-wing angry political talk
shows because I don't I didn't know
anybody like that. So, I was like, "Oh,
what what is this guy doing?"
>> I Well, uh
that's that was the bulk of the radio. I
mean, that's why, you know, you have
like Art Bell and Phil Henry like a nice
like, "Oh, okay." There because I got
all this. I got Mark Leavvin and I got
uh
>> you know uh uh what's his name? You
know, the Rush Limba.
>> Rush Limbaugh. Yeah. And uh and when you
when you first start listening or when I
first started listening uh and I came
out to LA from Boston, you know, and
people were like, there's this guy out
here who's [ __ ] nuts, you know, and
uh uh I'd never heard of him in Boston.
And then and you're like, does he how
much of this stuff does he believe? Does
he really believe? And how much has he
come to believe? Does that make sense?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. And uh and those guy that was a
whole fascinating thing. And Wally
George. Do you remember Wally George?
>> I do, but I don't remember much about
him. I remember the name. What did Wally
George do?
>> He was the guy who originated
what I mean now it's really familiar. He
remember Morton Downey Jr. He was a
little after
>> Oh, that's right. That's right. Uh,
>> and he would look at 83 and he was and
it was a super lowbudget like uh cable
access type thing back when that was a a
whole thing and
>> he'd get the audience would be hooting
and hollering and he'd have people on
like
>> somebody who and sometimes they I I
think because it became popular sort of
like with Morton Downey Jr. where people
came on to quote unquote [ __ ] with
W-ally George. Like I'm going to pretend
to be a, you know, a a furry with and
I'm going to, you know, have gauges and
and you know what I mean? Like just the
archetype of the thing they want to yell
at. And uh and I think people started it
was there were some [ __ ] people on
there, you know, people lying about who
they were. But he would have people on
and then and then kick them off. It
would happen all the time. Like come on,
sit down. uh what the [ __ ] do you think
you're doing? And everybody would yell
at the person. They'd start talking and
like get the [ __ ] out of here. And that
was that was the show. We're like, you
know, and uh here's something really
crazy.
Uh and tell me if this is rumor. Uh look
up your magic computer. Rebecca Deou's
dad, the actress.
>> That's Yeah.
>> Wally George.
>> Yes.
>> No.
>> Yeah. Look it up.
Casey, right?
>> Jamie.
>> Jamie. I'm gonna call you Casey.
>> Who is I forget who Rebecca Deou was
>> from uh um RISKY BUSINESS.
>> OH, WOW.
>> WOW. Her dad.
>> Yeah.
>> Is Wally George. Wow.
>> Isn't that crazy?
>> Married multiple times. Shocker.
Probably 10 potentially 10 times. Had at
least six children.
>> Holy [ __ ] Look at how many times he was
married.
>> One. Two, three, four.
Wow.
>> Possibly 10.
>> Possibly 10.
>> You imagine just keep [ __ ] signing
up.
>> I don't. Yeah, I just read um literally
the the other day uh Fleetwood Mack guy
getting married for the fifth time. He's
182 and he's getting like what? Stop.
>> You know, why do you want to keep doing
that? They believe.
>> They really believe this is it. This is
the one.
>> You have to say those vows and mean it
each time.
>> Or not.
>> Yeah.
>> Or just say this is just a fun thing
that I do to keep a a lady happy.
>> Yeah. Or just have a party, I guess.
>> Yeah. Have a party and pretend that
you're normal now.
>> And you're married?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. How long you've been married?
>> 17 years.
>> Oh, nice.
>> Yeah. Um, it'll be 14 in October for
>> If I get divorced, that's a wrap.
>> What do you mean?
>> Like, I'm happy, happily married. I
don't want to get divorced. Not saying
that, but if I ever get divorced, I'm
never
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, same here.
Yeah.
>> Oh, I feel the same. I don't
>> silly. I'm not having any more children.
So, if I don't have any children, it
makes no sense.
>> Yeah.
>> To legally be bound to some person.
Can't we just hang out?
>> I am 100% with you. I I and I was I was
never a um anti-marriage guy, but I just
didn't think I'd get married cuz I
didn't want I didn't want to. And then
eventually I met somebody who I wanted
to marry, you know?
>> Yeah. It's like you just have to it has
to I mean that's the thing. It has to be
the right person. Everybody always says
that except Wally George. But the idea
of doing it 10 times is [ __ ] insane.
Yeah. Yeah, like that. That's a they're
doing a different thing.
>> I think once you get I'll give you three
and let's say one of them was there's
some fishy circumstances. I'll give you
three. Once you get on your by the time
you're going to be on your fourth or
fifth or sixth or Rbert Murdoch
marriage, like I what is the point? And
why does that woman believe you? What
does it say about the lady?
>> Well, what about ladies that do it? I've
been here for 6 years and I know one
lady while I've been here. She's been
married twice. Married and divorced
twice and now she's on the third guy.
>> Yeah. I would look I I mean that says
something about the guys, right?
>> I guess.
>> Yeah, man. Come on. If you
you wouldn't ever think like you meet
somebody, you like them, and then you
find out they've been married twice
before in six years,
>> right? and
you and you were like starting to fall
for her. You wouldn't think, "Wait a
minute. What's wrong?"
>> You would unless she was hot.
>> Men are dumb. Well, if if she's hot and
she's sexy and you really like being
around her, you're like, "Who cares? She
made mistakes."
>> Yeah.
>> Who cares?
>> I guess you're right. If the sex is that
good, too.
>> Yeah. the sex is good. She's hot and you
love being around her and that's what
she wants and you want to make her
happy. Like, okay,
>> I'll get I'll do I'll say this. You
should find out. You should go talk to
the other guys and have a sit down and
find out why. You know,
>> the other problem is some guys, they'll
want to mess it up for you. So, they'll
lie.
They might not be accurate.
>> You know, they might paint a dis. Also,
they might have been the [ __ ] up and
they want to blame it on her and then
you'll get a distorted perception of who
she is.
>> But then then it's back to her that
she's marrying people,
>> right,
>> who are [ __ ] up. Just I guess the
point is that we're both making is don't
get married.
>> You know, it is a weird thing. It's a
weird thing to do. Do you have children?
>> I do.
>> Yeah. It's a weird thing to do if you
don't have children. Not weird like you
shouldn't do it, but it's a different
thing.
>> Yeah. Completely.
>> Yeah.
I I and I
I would say that um
not that we, you know, my wife and I
have any, you know, real issues, um but
I would
uh behave myself and stay and work at
the marriage because of the kid.
>> Oh, absolutely.
>> Yeah. Absolutely. It [ __ ] kids up when
people get divorced. What's your what's
your background in?
>> My parents were split up when I was five
and my mother remarried when I was seven
and has been with my stepdad ever since.
>> Oh, that's good.
>> Yeah, they have they have a great
relationship. I just saw them this
weekend.
>> And where did you grow up?
>> Florida.
>> [ __ ] everywhere. I was born in New
Jersey, moved to San Francisco when I
was seven, lived in San Francisco from 7
to 11
>> in the height of the Vietnam War. Um, in
hate Ashberry, like hippie town. And
then uh Florida from 11 to 13.
>> That's the opposite of San Francisco.
>> Oh my god. Yeah. That's the first time I
found out about the n-word. I didn't
know what it meant. And I remember I had
to ask my mom. Yeah. I had to ask my
mom. I never heard it in San Francisco.
Never heard it.
>> Wow.
>> San Francisco in the 1970s, uh, when I
was, you know, between 7 and 11 was kind
of a wild amazing time. It was really
weird. It was because we were in the
middle of like the counterculture
move
>> Berkeley all that stuff.
>> Yeah. We lived right down the street
from Lumbard Street. So we're you know
we were like in the middle of it all you
know and uh it's funny because it was
during that time that the Vietnam War
ended when I was I think I was When did
Vietnam end?
>> 74.
I think 74
>> officially 7 April 3075.
>> Okay.
>> US withdrawal 73.
>> Yeah. So that was like how old was I?
Whatever the the point is like at that
time I remember thinking thank god they
figured out war is bad. We're never
going to do this again. I lit literally
had that thought however old I was.
>> What a naive child.
>> Oh I was like because uh my stepfather
had um he didn't get drafted. He got
lucky. He he just didn't get picked. And
uh I knew a guy, some guy that was a
friend of the family that moved to
Canada. He's like, "Fuck this." He took
off to Canada. So I was aware of that.
Like, "Oh, people are leaving the
country so that they don't have to go to
war." Like this is cuz you're a little
kid. Everything's [ __ ] scary.
Especially if you come from, you know,
broken home and you know, like is this
>> Yeah. And the concept of a draft or
conscription. The idea like, oh, you may
have to go and we're you're going to
learn how to shoot a gun and then go
shoot strangers, kids, you know, like
that has got to be terrifying if you're
a kid.
>> No, it was insane. And it was also there
that was also the time where um you
know, my stepdad was a hippie and my
parents were hippies and when that
>> I was going to ask why why did your uh
sorry to interrupt, but why did they
move around so much? My stepfather was a
computer programmer initially and then
he wanted to become an architect. So he
went to school in San Francisco and then
um uh University of Florida in
Gainesville and then Boston
Architectural Center. So we we moved to
Boston when I was 13.
>> So that was what it was. It was him
becoming an architect,
>> right?
>> And so uh like they they didn't like
sports. They weren't into anything like
that. And then when Muhammad Ali was
opposing the Vietnam War, he became this
like counterculture hero.
>> Sure. Yeah.
>> And I remember it was my parents
sat down and watched Muhammad Ali versus
Leon Spinx because he was trying to win
his title back.
>> Mhm.
>> And they were rooting for Muhammad Ali.
I'm like, this is crazy. Like this guy's
stance on the Vietnam War has made my
parents fans of his to the point where
they're going to watch boxing. Like they
never watch box. They didn't want to
have anything to do with anything
violent.
>> They hated it.
>> And but they wanted to watch
>> one boxer
to watch if you were anti-, you know,
hitting or boxing or whatever. It was
Muhammad Ali. He was a a strategist. You
know,
>> he was. But quite honestly, by that
stage of his career, he had slowed down
considerably and he he just wasn't
>> I remember the Leon Spinx cuz he
>> Leon beat him and then he beat Leon in
the rematch,
>> right? This is the rematch, right?
>> And that was the big one that we were
all glued to the TV. But I remember
thinking, "This is crazy. They're
watching boxing
>> because of this guy's position on the
Vietnam War."
>> Have you seen When We Were Kings?
>> Yes.
>> Yeah. It's great. It's amazing.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. It's amazing.
>> Yeah. He was a God, you want to talk
about a unique human being,
>> like a oneof one.
>> Yeah.
>> You know.
>> Yeah. And
you know, outside of, you know, Mike
Tyson, there was never any kind of
uh
figure like that in boxing, you know.
No. Um
>> I mean there was minor
>> sugar Leonard a little bit but not
>> not to that extent because he wasn't a
cultural figure. Right. Muhammad Ali
represented something during the civil
rights movement.
>> And he changed his name to Muhammad Ali.
>> Right. Right. That was a big thing too.
People were terrified of Muslims. Yeah.
>> At the time and still.
>> I was going to say at the time. Yeah.
But it was a different kind of Muslims,
>> you know, that was um
>> well the the they were the
>> you know the government was really good
about uh portraying every black urban
person as like potentially you know
Muslim Brotherhood.
>> Uh 12 Tribes.
>> Right. Right. Right. Right.
>> Those guys they're still around. The
Israelite 12 tribe.
>> Oh those guys. Yeah. They used to be uh
they used to hang out and hang out.
What? They used to be in Time Square
like you know yelling and uh and
preaching.
>> I hung out with those guys one day. I
wrote a a piece about it for my website
cuz uh I went I was going home uh was
when I was living in New York and I was
walking down the street and there's
these guys standing there with like a
microphone, a little speaker. Yeah.
>> And they would read things from the
Bible.
>> Yep.
>> And they would translate it and they had
this very bizarre translation. Everybody
was black. George Washington was black.
Everyone was black. They were explaining
to me, you know, what the the so-called
Jew there, black Israelites, the
so-called Jew was the thing that they
would always think,
>> well, they're Jewish. Yeah, you don't
have to say the so-called.
>> Yeah, it was very odd.
>> It was um but their their whole thing
was there was a a a 12th tribe of the
Israelites that were black that have
been, you know, his written out of
history. Mhm. Yeah, that was their
thing. Yeah. They also informed me that
I'm not white. That was a relief.
>> Was
>> Cuz I'm Italian. They were like, "Oh,
you ain't white." I was like, "Oh, oh,
it's like the the
>> cuz they hated white people." So, I was
just talking to this cuz I was bored,
you know. I was just So, I was talking
to this guy. I was just having him
explain everything to me and he informed
me, "Don't worry, man. You're not
white." I was like, "Oh, okay. That's
good. That's good to know.
>> So, you can hang out.
>> I can hang out with you guys. You don't
hate me." But it was uh very odd. Very
odd. They were all dressed like
superheroes. They all these crazy like
Avenger costumes on.
>> Yeah. And and uh like jewelry, like big
>> Yeah. Huge medallions around their neck.
Yeah.
>> Very odd stuff.
>> They're still You don't see them like
you used to, but they're still out
there, you know.
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're out there.
>> But I mean like in literally in New York
at the periphery of Time Square.
>> Yeah. Last time I was in Philadelphia, I
saw them. Yeah,
>> they were out there on the street with
the microphones deal. Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> It's an odd group.
>> When were you in New York?
>> I was in New York. I moved to New York
in
911.
Yeah. So, I started standup in ' 88 in
Boston and uh I got picked up by my
manager who I'm still with when I was
essentially an open micer.
>> Who was that?
>> Jeff Susman.
How do I not know Jeff Susman?
>> He handles Kevin James.
>> Was he a Boston guy?
>> No, he was a New York guy.
>> Okay. Okay.
>> So, the story was he had um what was his
name? [ __ ] the guy who had all the
crazy costumes. He was on the Rodney
Dangerfield special. Bob
>> Oh,
>> Bob Nelson.
>> Bob Nelson. Yeah.
>> So, he handled Bob Nelson.
>> He the Cleveland Browns.
>> Yeah. He put the helmet on. He had
boxing gloves. He did Jippy Jeff's gym.
He had brain damage. He did a bunch of
different characters.
>> I remember.
>> So Bob, who is a a big act, you know, he
had a HBO special, the whole deal at the
time. Um he found Jesus.
>> Oh.
>> And uh
>> where was he?
>> In his basement, I guess, or something.
It was in around the neighborhood
somewhere.
>> Okay.
>> But
>> he uh had this guy who was his prayer
partner that was going to take over as
his manager. And so this was my
manager's big client. And so he's like,
"Fuck, like, I got to I got to go find
some other
>> Did did he just stop doing standup?" Cuz
>> I don't know. I think I don't know if he
still does standup. I don't know. I knew
his career. My manager is really good
and he's very smart and he did a great
job guiding Bob. But I think sometimes
when people like have like a big
religious moment like that like maybe
that becomes more of their life than he
was all in.
>> He was all in with Christianity.
>> And so um my manager said, "Well, I kind
of know most of the comics in New York.
Let me see if I'm not missing people in
Boston." And so he traveled to Boston
with a friend of his, one of the guys
that uh owned Governors. And uh they
came
>> Well, Governors was was Bob's room,
wasn't it?
>> Yes. Long Island. One of the rooms that
he worked at. Yeah. And so they came
down to Boston and I just randomly went
up one night at um
Duck Soup. Remember Duck Soup?
>> Duck Soup.
>> Duck Soup was it became the improv after
a while. It was um
>> I don't remember that. Billy DS and um
>> Paul Barklay.
>> Paul Barkley. I think it was actually
Billy split. I think it was Paul's
thing. So they
>> split at that point.
>> I think I'm not sure about that. But but
what what it was is it was Paul's idea.
I believe it was a much more high-end
room. Like it was really nice and it was
right across from Nicks. So it was in
the below area where the Wilturn is.
>> Okay.
>> So you know where the Wilturn is which
is now the big you know where Bill
Blumenright does comedy connection show.
>> Wilbur, right? Yeah. Is that it?
>> The Wilbur.
>> It's the Wil. Okay. I'm thinking the
Wilton's LA.
>> Wilton's LA. I know what you're talking
about.
>> The Wilbur. Right. You're right. So
downstairs the Wilbur. It was you'd go
down and it was a really nice room.
>> Okay.
>> And uh I was a limo driver at the time.
I was driving limos and uh
>> driving a limo in Boston.
>> Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Jesus.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Oh man.
>> That's what I was doing for a job.
That's [ __ ] I mean I just mean the
literal streets of Boston are
>> tough to navigate with any vehicle, but
a limo add add a extra half a car to it.
That's
>> Yeah, it was it wasn't that bad. It was
mostly airport pickups,
>> you know. And a lot of it was town cars,
pick people up in town cars, but uh when
you drive around a lot, that's when I
would come up with my best ideas. And uh
I had an idea for a joke and I called
God I can't remember who the guy was
that [ __ ] I can't believe I'm blanking
on his name. He was a really cool dude
who was the manager of the club and I
could call him up and say, "Hey, can I
get a guest bot?" And he gave me a guest
spot that night. I wasn't even supposed
to be on the show and my manager just
happened to be in the room. And if id
known he was in the room, I probably
would have been nervous and I probably
would have bombed
>> and I had no idea he was there. And then
he came up to me afterwards and gave me
his card and he said, "Can I see you
tomorrow?" I said, "Okay." And then I
>> He just went for a ride to the airport.
>> So I did a set at the connection the
next night and then he asked me to come
to New York and audition there and then
wow
>> next thing you know I was living in New
York. It was like three years later.
>> Very cool. And then
>> yeah it was crazy crazy story.
>> And uh and when did you move out to LA?
94 93 like uh first came out in 93 and
then moved in 94. I came out to 93 for a
pilot. I did a pilot on Fox called
Hardball with Jim Brewer and uh a bunch
of other people. It was a baseball
sitcom on Fox that got cancelled. It was
terrible. Yeah.
>> And then uh I the only reason why I
stayed I hated LA. But the only reason
why I stayed was because I had got an
apartment and I had a lease for a year.
So, I was like, "Fuck, like, I have to
stay here." And so, I stayed for a whole
year and then I got a development deal
for NBC and um they I was they were in
the middle of this whole development
deal and then they said, "We have a
pilot that we already filmed, but we're
going to fire one of the cast members.
Uh we want you to audition for this."
And that was news radio. So, I got to
watch.
>> Who uh did you replace?
Well, fortunately,
it was Ray Romano, who was a good friend
of mine, was fired during the pilot and
so they replaced him with another guy
and that guy got fired.
>> Oh, wow.
>> Yeah. So, it wasn't I would have felt
terrible. Yeah.
>> If it was Rey, but it was Rey being
replaced. So, I was like, "Good [ __ ]
that guy. I'll I'll do it for Ry."
>> Do you remember who the other guy was?
>> I do not. He was just an actor, some
guy. And I mean, I never met him. Sure,
he's a nice guy, but uh luckily for Ray,
he goes on and does Everybody Loves
Raymond. It becomes huge.
>> And I just stumbled into this [ __ ]
show with no acting experience.
>> That was a fun set. I remember
>> cuz I did it a couple times. And uh
and also like that was not my first but
one of the first experiences I had with
multi- camera sitcoms. You know, you're
like uh this is literally the easiest
job on planet earth.
>> Oh yeah,
>> it is the you have one full day. You
have like a full I think Thursday,
right?
>> Yeah.
>> And then Friday is like half a day.
>> Yeah.
>> Monday come in, listen to the read the
script, go away. Yeah, it's the filming
day that's the long day. And it's not
that bad. I mean, especially once we got
loose. The first season was hard.
>> The first season was 12, 14 hour days
cuz it was like they were trying to
figure out what the show was.
>> But once it got rolling, it was pretty
amazing. So, I had only been doing
standup for six years. I'd only been I
had done no acting. I had they made me
get an acting coach for a little while
in New York, which I think was
counterintuitive. news
>> for a pilot. For the pilot, the Fox
pilot.
>> Oh,
>> yeah.
>> Well, how's how's an acting coach going
to help you with a sitcom? It's about
It's about instinct. It's about
>> Well, they were giving me a lot of
money. They gave me like $150,000.
Like, you have to learn how to act. Do
you know how to act? I' like I've never
acted.
>> I'm just saying like to deliver sitcom
lines is you don't need an acting
teacher.
>> Now, Joseph, let's limber up the body.
>> Yeah. You're not Daniel de Lewis. You're
not doing
>> There Will Be Blood. It It was a
>> It was weird cuz it wasn't anything. I
think the reason why it worked out so
well is cuz it was never anything that I
wanted.
>> So, there was no weight to it. It wasn't
like, "Oh my god, this is it. I am on a
sitcom. I'm acting." It was more like,
"This is crazy. I can't believe I'm
doing this."
>> You know, it was more like, "Wow, I
can't believe I get to do this." But um
you know the real thing for me was to be
able to be in LA and go to the comedy
store. That to me was more that was more
huge than like when I got passed at the
comedy store that to me was like way
bigger than being on a sitcom. I was
like holy [ __ ] like cuz at that you know
like at six years in I was like am I
even is this gonna work out? Like I
don't even know this is gonna work out.
Well, it's al also not um glamorous in
any way. That that aspect of
uh working is there's nothing glamorous
about a sitcom. You know what I mean?
It's not the thing that when you're not
in LA or Hollywood and you're sitting
back and you're you are told about the
glamorous lifestyle, the parties and all
that stuff, it's literally you're
driving to work and you're going to
work, you know.
>> Yeah. But it was glamorous in a sense
that you were on television and that was
very weird to me. It was very strange to
watch it on TV. I'm like that is
actually me on TV. I had zero
aspirations for any acting at all.
>> Yeah.
>> I It never was it never even occurred to
me. When I lived in Boston, I remember
me and Fitz Simmons used to we used to
dream about the day where we could pay
our bills telling jokes. That was all it
was. I I hear you.
>> It was just like, oh god, how I would
see guys like DJ Hazard. I remember I
went to look at this apartment and DJ
Hazard lived in the same building and it
was this uh converted schoolhouse and
the these loft apartments. It had like a
second floor where the like the bedroom
was and looked over the living room. I
like God this he pays for this with
jokes. Yeah. This was like the most
amazing thing. Like that's all I wanted.
I saw these like Don Gavin and Steve
Sweeney. I was like, "Imagine being able
to pay your bills just telling jokes.
>> Untie my ankles in the morning."
Remember that?
>> Yeah. DJ Hazard.
>> Yeah.
>> Um, what was I going to say? Something.
Oh, do you know
uh Fitz Simmons um
Paul Barklay story or Bill DS the watch?
Bill DS? It was Bill Downs.
>> Which one? How's it go? Oh, I I don't
you should get it from him because it's
his story, but and I I don't want to I
feel like it's his to tell, but it's
[ __ ] great. It's genius.
>> It's bringing up something in my memory.
>> So So Bill owed everybody money, right?
And uh like he's still you know those
guys owe me whatever it is at this point
you know what $300 $500 and just and you
go there and they were just
>> everybody was big guy remember?
>> Yeah.
>> I'll pay you soon big guy.
>> Oh the war. And then do you remember
when
Bill adopted the girls?
>> Yes. Korean girls, right?
>> He Yeah. and he would use them like as
because at at a certain point it didn't
help to go to the connection or go to
the clubs and you had to go to their
[ __ ] office if you want it. nobody's
going to call you back or whatever and
you like I got to get on the tea and go
to the go to their office and that's the
only way I'm going to get money is if I
show up and he's in a good mood and it's
not going to happen from a phone call
and I'd go there every single time it's
like dude I got to pay my rent man I
mean I I got nothing and you owe me you
know $385 and back then that was huge
and uh h cross I just listen. So I got
these my kids, one of my kids is sick
and whatever. It's always this [ __ ]
excuse and then and then uh you know
with still the coke residual and the
bottom of the snows and um
>> but so Fitz he owed Fitz Simmons a chunk
of money like
like a significant amount like 1,500
1,800 bucks like something something
meaty you know especially for back then
and
uh you you ask Greg cuz I feel I feel
like it.
>> No, tell the story. I'm sure Greg's told
it to me.
>> Greg and I are pretty close. I remember
it some in in my head. I do remember
part of it, but I don't know the whole
story. I don't remember it.
>> All right. So, Greg was uh booked
>> at this uh you know, some [ __ ] club in
New Hampshire, whatever. And DS was
going to be there. Uh Bill was going to
be there. And uh um and he goes he goes
there and he goes, "Uh oh, Bill, I I uh
I forgot my watch. Um I don't want to go
over. Can I can I borrow your watch?"
And he's like, "Yeah, sure." Um it's
like a Rolex, like some fancy fancy
fancy watch. And And Greg had this all
planned out.
>> Oh, I know the story now.
>> Yeah. And then he had he had like parked
in a specific place and then he and then
he gets uh he's like, "All right,
thanks." And he's like, "All right,
don't forget to give it back." Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. And he does his set. And
then he bolts out the back door, gets in
his car, drives home back to Boston, and
then Bill calls him. Hey, uh, so uh, I
think you, uh, forgot to give me my
watch back. And Greg just basically
goes, "Yeah, you want it back? Uh, give
me the 1,800 bucks you owe me." And then
met him at a restaurant or a diner
somewhere in a public place. Give me the
cash and I'll give you your watch. And
it was just genius.
>> Yeah, that's Greg.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah, those days were fun. Nick's Comey
stop used to offer to pay you in cocaine
or cash.
>> I Dude, so I I did NYX and the only I'
I've said this multiple times. the only
I I'm extremely lucky that I was in
Boston when I was in Boston because
>> the comedy booms going on and outside of
I don't know three places I just didn't
do that well and I certainly didn't do
well at Nicks. I mean I was the
opposite. They, you know, it had that
the vague feeling of high school where
you're the weirdo and people want to
[ __ ] with you and throw you in the trash
can. And uh and so I got lucky because
there were just spots. They just needed
bodies. So, I worked all the time, you
know, not, you know, not great gigs, but
I had it was all cash, you know, under
the table and and they just needed
bodies to to, you know, go up and do 15
minutes, 20 minutes, whatever, at some
cowboy bar in Fitsburg or whatever. Uh,
Fitchburg. Um anyway, uh so I get this I
get a week at Knicks and um and I am not
doing well at all. I think I'm opening
up for Kevin Knox, so not my crowd and I
didn't have the tracksuit. Um
uh and you know, Knoxy's up there doing
uh hey, you know why you know why uh
Bill Buckner didn't catch the ball or
get the ball? Uh it's 86 World Series
cuz he heard it had AIDS on it.
Okay. All right. Yeah, that's a real
joke. That's a real joke. And they LOVED
IT.
>> WONDERFUL. YES, of course. That eight.
>> Uh 1986.
>> And then do you remember this? What does
eight stand for?
>> No.
>> What?
>> Adios infected dick sucker.
>> Oh, I do remember that. I do.
>> I'm opening for him.
>> Oh my god. and it's his crowd
>> and uh
>> Adios infected dick sucker. Oh my god.
>> Yeah. So,
uh I titled one of the tracks on my
first album, I think first or second
album, uh what if baseballs had AIDS on
them?
>> Just
and I'm I'm [ __ ] eating it, right?
So, they're they're they're peeling back
my uh time as the week goes on. And uh
and I am I mean I if I had done even
okay, I wouldn't have had this feeling.
They're already kind of intimidating,
right? Super mobby.
>> Very mob.
>> Very mob. And do you remember where the
you'd walk into Nicks and there was like
the podium and then behind a little
behind it is this little room with a
curtain, right? And it's uh not big at
all. And I went to go get paid. My the
week was over and I'm and I've just, you
know, eaten it. Eat [ __ ] every single
night, every single show. And um
>> and they're all eating. It's like a
scene from like they're all eating like,
you know, manacotti. Just couldn't make
it any better with the [ __ ] napkins
in their uh you know, in their shirt
like this. And uh and I go uh hey
nervous as [ __ ] Just hey uh so Dom uh I
need to uh uh if I can get paid I uh uh
just for the you know whatever and
Dominic goes to whoever I can't remember
the guy's name uh his kind of lackey
there. And he goes whatever his name was
you know Paulie go pay the kid and he's
I've interrupted his dinner. He's not
happy. [ __ ] napkin off. Takes me
trudges. We go up to the offices
upstairs and there's a safe and it's
open and there's cash and there's a gun.
This is just just open, right? And he
gives me he gets the money and he gives
it to me and I just pick it up. I want
to get the [ __ ] out of there. And I pick
it up and he's like, "Are you going to
count it?" "Uh, no. I'm good. I trust I
trust you." And I just bolted. I never
went back there again. But it was I was
so [ __ ] intimidated. And
>> that was an intimidating place.
>> Oh, dude. The whole thing about it.
Every the Dominic, all those guys.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. And there everyone's doing blow.
And you know, the performers are at
least. You know,
>> it was a maniacal time where all those
there was one time where Nicks was
running three consecutive shows. So they
had their main room upstairs. There was
a dance club down in the bottom and
there was one other room somewhere in
that building and guys would go like
guys like Don Gavin and Steve Sweeney
they would go and do a set a set a set
set a set a set and these guys were just
raking in money.
>> Oh yeah.
>> And constantly doing blow
>> and not paying their taxes.
>> Yeah. Yes.
>> And that's what got them all.
>> Yeah. That Well, they I mean back in the
heyday and it went it went on for years.
It was years and years of this. I mean,
you you could go down, you know, 128 and
do callons or whatever and then do just
hop all the way back, hop in to these
>> Chinese restaurants or whatever,
>> right? Giggles and sas.
>> Yeah. And do just go in a straight line
and go back and forth and do nine
[ __ ] shows and and make a [ __ ] ton of
money. Cash under the table, tons of
blow.
>> Yeah.
>> And Yeah. It was a wild place because
there was so many comics and it was such
a Boston's not a big city,
>> you know, and to have so much comedy all
come out. You've seen um France
Alamita's documentary?
>> I haven't. I got to.
>> It's really great.
>> Stand up stood out.
>> Yeah, it's really I I got to It's really
great. It's really great. And it goes
all the way back to Crims and the
Ding-ho. And I I that was before my
time. I started in ' 88, so the ding-ho
was already gone. Yeah. You know, you
heard legendary stories from the
>> Dingho. Did you see Call Me Lucky?
>> No.
>> Oh, you got to see that. It's Bobcat's
uh documentary about uh Barry.
>> Oh, no. Wait a minute. I did see that.
>> It's [ __ ] great. I did see that.
>> It's really well done. I I don't mean
just like if even if you don't know
Barry, just the story and the way he
>> lays out the the path of the
>> the film is it's great.
>> I had Barry on like right after it came
out. out. I had him on the podcast
>> and yeah,
>> he's he's a he's a legend and you know
huge inspiration.
>> He was intimidating guy.
>> Yeah,
>> that was the guy that I was scared of
because he was like
>> he was the guy who was sort of the
standard like he made sure there was no
hacks. He made sure there was, you know,
like he set the standard, you know,
>> and he was really equitable, too.
>> Yes. You know, and
>> um very politically active, even like
way back then, like really knowledgeable
and like really understood what was
going on in the world. And
>> did you ever see his uh or one of his um
State of the Union shows?
>> No.
>> They're [ __ ] amazing. So he would go
I saw a couple of them at the the old
stitches and he would go up and it was
dur when the the state of the union w
was happening. he'd go up and he'd do
his state of the union. It was just him.
And he would go on and he'd have like um
you know, it was pre PowerPoint, but it
was whatever the equivalent of, you
know, a screen behind him with stuff. Uh
and he'd go up there with a a cooler,
like a legit big cooler of beer cuz that
[ __ ] could drink. and uh and he
would just start he had a podium and he
would just crack beers and just down a
case of beer or half a case of beer and
just do his stuff, you know, uh uh
extemporaneous stuff. I mean, stuff
prepared, but about, you know, the State
of the Union and all that. It was and it
would always be packed like and you'd
see Dennis Liry and, you know, every
single comic would be there, you know,
trying up against the wall because it
was packed. But it was great. I mean,
legendary.
>> Well, he I mean, I think he was really
responsible for a lot of what Boston
comedy became, you know, because he was
the guy that was kind of the gold
standard and
>> and he started the Ding-ho. Yeah. You
know?
>> Yeah. Yeah. And he it's like becoming
friends with him was like like such a
relief cuz I was terrified of him when I
was a young comic. Like if that guy
thought I sucked, if he hated me, I was
like I'm [ __ ] doomed. Yeah.
>> You know, because he was this character.
He would go on stage with a sport coat
on and reach into his inner pocket and
pull out a Budweiser like for every
show. You remember that?
>> I don't, but I mean I know he drank a
lot.
>> Yeah. But he would bring his own beer.
It was part of his thing. He would go on
stage just reach into his pull out a
Budweiser and set it down on the stool.
>> I He only drink American beer.
>> Is that true?
>> Yeah, he would drink Budweiser.
>> I wonder why that is.
>> I don't know. Was like kind of a
patriot.
I I he doesn't seem like he would the
kind of guy who would have denied
himself.
>> Well, I mean, maybe it was performative.
I don't know. Was there Medela even did
it exist at the time? But yeah, he was
uh he was the only guy I would say that
uh and to your point like all these
other legendary comics, you know, Lenny
Clark and Don Gavin and Steve Sweeney
and all those guys, it was the only guy
that those guys were kind of walking on
eggshells. Yes. The only
they'd give all each other [ __ ] like and
and mean [ __ ] too. Like, you know.
>> Oh, they would fight.
>> Oh, yeah. Barry was the one guy they
wouldn't [ __ ] with.
>> Well, he was different than all of them
and that he was incredibly well read.
Like really well read, really
knowledgeable about all sorts of things
with economics and the way the world
works, the injustices of our society,
>> but really funny [ __ ] comic, too.
like great jokes, great writer,
>> you know, and just like he was the
standard. He was the glue that held that
scene together because they all looked
at him to be like like you can't kind of
step out of line like you don't want to
get catch Barry's R.
>> Yeah, it's it was absolutely true. And
uh and then when
uh the revelation he had of uh being
abused as a kid and then he dedicated he
spoke in front of Congress. He did uh um
about
>> AOL.
>> AOL.
>> Yeah. That was during the early days of
AOL. For people that don't know, they
had all these chat rooms and sexual
predators were using these chat rooms to
find children. Yeah. and also to
exchange pornographic material.
>> Yeah. And that was that was that becomes
a big part of uh Call Me Lucky, you
know?
>> Right.
>> Um.
>> Right.
>> And yeah, he like dedicated his life
basically to just uh going out and
catching these [ __ ] and and and
helping, you know, uh the the people who
would pose as kids and stuff. And that
was you know that was his and he was
also uh
you know lapsed Catholic and when all
the especially in Boston that the
Catholic church and dascese and all that
stuff was coming out he was I mean that
was his [ __ ] focus is
>> getting these [ __ ]
>> caught you know exposed. Well, I I think
it took someone like him that was
he was levels above most of the other
comedians in terms of his understanding
of the world and his ability to
articulate it and also a great comic. So
that like people looked at him like,
well, this guy's like he's clearly
smarter than all of us. He's he's also
like super dedicated to the craft of
comedy. Like meant a lot to him. like
the integrity of comedy, like what it is
to be a comic,
>> you know, and he came from
uh and I think this is kind of specific
to Boston, too. He came from a jock
world. He was a minor league uh or or
whatever sub minor league uh catcher. He
played
uh was at Syracuse University and he he
played for like the Cape Cod League and
and you know the things that eventually
you get to minor leagues hopefully. Um
but and he came from that hard drinking
you know and and Catcher is arguably the
smartest guy on the baseball team.
Right.
>> Right. He's the guy making the calls for
the pitches,
>> seeing everything, defensive lineups. So
he came from that world too, which I
think helped
>> his cred.
>> Yeah. Well, it's just such an unusual
town in what happened there that these
guys became these local legends where
they never had to leave and they kind of
did the same act for decades, which is
also kind of crazy. That to me was
like I knew there was definitely a
uh as I started to separate from that
world a little bit and uh and just kind
of evolving as a comedian and there was
like the catch scene and um catch a
rising star and uh that was a thing that
was an early
>> I just didn't get it like why are you
doing the pain it there's no joy in it.
And then you you would drive some of
these guys cuz they get [ __ ] up and
you were happy to have all the work and
you'd go up and do 15 and they do a half
hour. He'd get in the car and go
somewhere else and and these guys doing
Mike Dunan doing he would do his
remember Rosie the bounty the quicker
picker uper the bounty.
>> Yeah.
>> Okay. So he had there was a
So the commercials were like Rosie
uh and it was like the scrappy uh
waitress at a diner. remember it was
like a character that was in all the it
was like the
>> the you know mascot of whatever B bounty
the quicker picker uper and
>> her character was kind of like feisty as
in these commercials ran for years you
know different like ah you don't do this
do this and his bit was about taking a
gun out and shooting her um and it was
funny you'd see it the first time but
it's like dude that hasn't been on the
air in [ __ ] 10 years and he's still
doing this. Uh, yeah, Rosie, I got
something for you. I got a I got some
advice for you. Shoot. Like, what the
[ __ ] And there was Okay, wait. Joe, did
you were you there?
So, uh, Ed the Machine Regime.
>> Oh, yeah. I remember him.
>> So,
>> he wear the suit.
>> Yep. Well, yeah. And he his headsh shot
was four different his head shot was
like four squares and then he different
characters.
>> Yep. Tina Turner
>> and uh guy the the like mob guy. I can't
remember the rest of them. And then you
know whatever.
>> I think he had a turban in one of them.
>> I'm sure he did. Uh
so he goes to jail for rolling back
>> odometers.
>> Odometers. Yes.
>> So he go he gets caught
>> and he was uh you know car salesman I
think out of in Rhode Island I believe
and he got caught rolling back the
odometers. He goes to jail for a year
and a half.
And I uh I was shooting this movie. This
is decades later. I was shooting this
movie and it was on a cruise ship. And
the cruise ship uh Ed the Machine Regime
is the headliner at the comedy venue on
the cruise ship. And I'm like, "Oh [ __ ]
that's crazy. I haven't seen this guy in
forever." And he's he's back doing
comedy. Okay. And I go there and he does
I don't know 40 minutes the same [ __ ]
act from 15 years ago. It's like you
don't have one you you spent 18 months
in prison. You don't have one joke. You
don't have one [ __ ]
observation.
>> Even if you lie and say, you know, you
know it' be weird if you were in prison
and whatever you you don't have
anything. It's weird. It was a weird
thing and it it only existed with them.
>> Most comics in the country were writing
new material all the time.
>> It it was I remember that feeling of I
must be different
because I'm not I don't that is such a
distasteful thing. Like I wouldn't want
to do that, you know?
>> Well, there was two I saw two traps
there. One of them was that and the
other one was never leaving.
>> Yeah.
>> They never left Boston. And when they
did leave Boston, they had so much local
material that their act was like cut
down by like 40%. And there were a lot
of people,
their peers, who would give them [ __ ]
like uh and it was all just kind of
resentful, jealousy, small-minded, small
town kind of like, oh, you think you're
better than us, which is a Boston thing,
too, that
>> um oh, you think you're so think you're
so hot now that you uh you're hot shot,
you go you get some you go to Hollywood,
you go there. Yeah, [ __ ] you. This is,
you know, it was a real provincial
working class kind of
>> Yeah.
>> attitude, you know, they look down on
and, you know, they would give Ly [ __ ]
all the time, you know, like Sell Out.
This is [ __ ] Weird.
>> Sellout's a weird one because they were
all sold out. It just wasn't available.
>> Well, they were all mad at Steven
Wright. Like, were they?
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz So, Steven Wright
was like this.
>> How can you get mad at Steven Wright?
Well, not mad at him, but bitter because
of his success, cuz he went and left.
Yeah,
>> he went and left, did the Tonight Show,
became huge, so unusual, so different.
And they came to Boston. The Tonight
Show came to Boston to look for comics.
And Steven Wright was the one they
chose. And all these other guys were
like, "He's a [ __ ] middle act. Like,
this is bullshit." Like, that guy bombs
half the time. cuz his act his act to me
was a lot like
>> Hedber
>> in that if you didn't know what he was
doing and you came to see specific kind
like if Hedber there's a famous story of
Hedber was on the road in Ohio and they
had this guy who was an opening act who
do like back flips and [ __ ] sing rap
songs and it was it was a disaster and
Hedber kept bombing and so they switched
them and made Hedberg the middle act and
tried to [ __ ] him on the money and
Stanho got into it with the owner of the
club and
>> became a big thing But once Hedberg got
an audience, then people knew what they
were coming to see and then he was
amazing and then everybody wanted to see
that. That was kind of the same with
Stephen Wright. Like if you expected if
you're on a show with Steve Sweeney and
Lenny Clark and all these big energy
[ __ ] Boston guys
>> and then you know I used to work at a
fire hydrant factory couldn't park
anywhere near the place you know like it
just for whatever reason
>> you know. Well, it's awesome.
>> So it that other comedy is and I'm not
taking anything away from those guys and
the the bits were great, but the that
other comedy is a little easier. It just
you get it. Yes.
>> And Steven Wright, you got to think
about it for a second.
>> It was abstract. It was lowkey. It was
all non sequittors. It was one to
another. It was
>> And so when he left and took off, a lot
of guys apparently were like, "This is
[ __ ] [ __ ] like when's my turn
gonna happen?
>> Yeah, I I can see that easily. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean that was
>> it was so
I mean no other scene had that kind of
weird provincial
>> you know and that thing like you said
they wouldn't leave.
>> No, they never left. Well, they were
huge there. So if they lived there, they
could make like a couple hundred,000 a
year just running around and cash easy.
>> Yeah. And not ever have to worry about
anything. And they played golf all day.
So there's two things that scared me.
One of them was golf cuz I saw that when
you play golf, you kind of stop trying
with your comedy.
>> It's a slippery slope. It's a gateway
drug.
>> Well, it's you're you're out there for
[ __ ] eight hours a day. Like Noxy was
always playing golf. And then the other
thing was like if if you never left, you
had no chance of developing like a
national audience where you could go to
a club in Philadelphia. You can go to a
club. They couldn't do the road.
>> And I I remember thinking, "Oh, this is
a trap." Yeah, for sure. Absolutely.
Yeah. I mean, and as you said, they
>> half of their standup was like, you'd
have to know about, you know, Storow
Drive or [ __ ]
>> Johnny Most,
>> you know?
>> Yeah. Remember Dunovan's bit about
Johnny Most? It was amazing. But it was
like he was doing that bit long after
Johnny Most was dead. So like 20 people
in the audience would be howling,
laughing, and everybody else like, "Who
the [ __ ] is Johnny Most?"
>> God.
>> Yeah. It was it was weird because that
it was like a velvet prison. It was like
how I describe like really great comics
that get jobs in a writer's room and I'm
like you got to be careful. Like that's
a velvet prison because if you get stuck
in that writer room and you never do the
road, you never put out specials, you're
never going to get an audience. You're
always going to be beholdened to an
employer. You're always going to have to
have a job. And there's great comics
that got trapped with that. I But
wouldn't you say that
if they Yes, it's a trap, but if they
didn't have the
uh wherewithal or foresight or or
willpower to get out of that trap, then
they probably weren't meant to do that
thing
>> perhaps. But sometimes they get a
mortgage and then they get a family and
then they're stuck.
>> That's the trap.
>> Family, let's call it for what it is.
It's a trap. And well, in a lot of ways
it can be if you're trying to be an
actual national level. Like, do you know
Owen Smith?
>> Uh,
>> comic in LA?
>> No.
>> One of the top 20 best comics on earth.
He's [ __ ] brilliant. He's so funny.
>> Owen Smith.
>> Owen Smith. Okay. Saw him at the Comedy
Store. And I remember the first time I
saw him at the Comedy Store, I'm like,
"How is this guy not [ __ ] huge?" He's
so funny. He's so good. He's like, he
has this bit about uh adopting a white
kid and naming him the n-word.
It's just like really it's a really
funny, well-crafted bit. Like all of his
bits are like brilliantly written. He's
a great performer. He's super likable.
Got writer gigs and just he does the
Mothership a couple times a year, I
believe. At least once a year. Um but
just doesn't get out there.
>> Who does he write or or what show?
>> Oh, I think he's a showrunner now. Oh,
well that
>> so it took it to another level. Yes.
>> But you know just got jobs writing when
he was struggling as a comic and those
jobs eventually led to a house and
>> but maybe he
>> you know was like I you you watch him
and you love him, right? Cuz you see a
lot of standup and you're like a lot of
it [ __ ] and this guy's [ __ ] great
great writer.
>> But maybe he doesn't see it that way and
he's quite happy to
>> I think he does he does see it that way.
I've talked to him about it. Yeah, he
kind of knows. He
>> just doesn't know what to do now cuz
he's
>> You're a showrunner. You're
>> It's making money.
>> Yeah. And there's a lot of
responsibility.
>> There's also not a lot of shows anymore.
>> Yeah.
>> Which is it's a real problem. It's a
real problem.
>> Bananked on being a showrunner in the
'9s and that's what you, you know, threw
your hat into and then all of a sudden
that thing seems to have dwindled to
like 20% of what it used to be. It's
yeah, it's uh
I used to be quite happy with the idea
that I knew,
you know, back in the day when you're
pitching shows and stuff and trying to
develop things and you go this uh let's
not waste our time going to these five
places. This is not a show for them.
This is a show for these three places.
Let's this is that this kind of show.
Now I have no [ __ ] clue. I, you know,
uh, come up with like Bob and I
pitched a show, sold the pitch. Uh,
there was like even there were like four
we I think we pitched it at eight
places. Four of them kind of bid. We
took what we thought was the best deal.
Um,
and then wrote the it was a limited
series, eight episodes. um wrote the
first four and it was Bob and his
brother Bill who's big Simpsons guy and
um
uh and it was good and then they said
the the the quote was
uh marketing and analytics couldn't that
quote couldn't figure it out what to do
with the show.
>> Wow. And so they didn't and we and we
had four episodes that you could look at
and then we had the Bible for the next
four and the outlines and everything was
and it was [ __ ] funny on the page. It
was funny. Then we're like, "So here's
the cast. We're gonna have these amazing
people uh and Bob and I as different um
cult leaders and uh um
I mean and and if that's such a rare
thing when it starts off on the page
funny and by the time you get a great
cast and then you get on set and you're
like what if we do this and then you get
into the post and and start playing
around with it. I mean, it's just it was
a really cool thing. And uh yeah,
marketing and analytics, that's what
you're dealing with now.
>> Well, I mean, that has kind of always at
least been the case. I
>> Well, not anal I mean, they they would
have to say
uh I mean, analytics is technical. I
mean, marketing I I don't know how to
help you, man. I can give you some
advice. I don't I you know I think
that's a shitty way to market it but you
know the you know that world and uh but
analytics is about the algorithm and all
that [ __ ]
>> Is this recent?
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Okay. Yeah.
>> Right after shortly after co
>> it's amazing how many incredibly
unimpressive people are responsible for
putting out shows.
>> The people that you communicate with the
executives you're like this has got to
be a mistake. like how did you get this
job?
>> And I I experienced that
>> early on like at the first pilot that I
was on
>> the um the first first pilot was on Hard
Ball. The pilot was actually very funny
because it was written by Jeff Martin
and Kevin Curran. They were from the
Simpsons and they also wrote on Married
with Children.
>> Great guys, but they were writers. They
were like these like quiet kind of
softspoken guys and you know they ran
the pilot and then they brought in a
showrunner from Coach. Remember that
show, Coach? Yeah. And this guy just
>> [ __ ] the whole show and turned it into
this like
it was like this clunky bad joke. Like
really
>> [ __ ] happens more than you'd think, you
know.
>> And the people behind the scenes, like
the executives, it was astonishing how
little of them had any creative
ideas. It was they were just hoping that
it would work. and ego. It's like ego
and I'm an executive so I'll tell you
what's good and what's not good and we
understand this cuz we're Fox and
>> I was like this is nuts. Like this is
this is how it works behind the scene. I
thought you'd get behind the scene and
be all these [ __ ] geniuses that had
put together all these television shows.
They had an understanding of like how
let people be creative and put a put a
show together and let it let it [ __ ]
run out in the the the runs like when
you're running through the script like
>> the guy who thought the war was
everybody learning
>> same thing. Finally they're going to
figure it out. Yeah. I'm very naive
>> but I naively stumbled into that exact
right thing with news radio.
>> Right. So when I got on the news radio,
>> which I would say some of those execs
that you're uh describing, they probably
stumbled into
>> Yes.
>> the success of it.
>> Well, you know, Paul Sims, who is
brilliant, was coming from the Larry
Sanders show. So Larry Sanders show,
huge success, genius show.
>> And so they knew this guy was special
and, you know, super smart guy, like
funny and had a great group of writers
and put put together a great pilot. and
then, you know, recast the one role that
I came in for. And so I'm there on this
set and it was like, you know, it it
took long hours to figure it out, but
they let everybody do whatever they
wanted to do. Like Paul's approach was
so different than anybody else. Like
Dave Foley was like the secret producer
of like half of that show. Half of the
way the scenes were put together, half
of the jokes that were in it was all
Dave Foley on set running through the
script with the cast coming up with
better ideas.
>> Oh, I didn't know that.
>> They let you do anything. Like sometimes
they'd say, "Can we see it as written?"
>> And then you'd give it to them as
written. Then they'd be like, "I like
your idea better." Like they Paul was
>> [ __ ] amazing with that.
>> And
>> so once I did that, I was like, I think
I'm done with this because I don't think
it's ever going to be any better than
this. It's rare, man.
>> Yeah, it was super rare. I I auditioned
for like one or two other ones that were
terrible just cuz I wanted money, you
know, and I'm like, and I'm like, maybe
it'll be okay. But hell is being on a
sitcom that's terrible that's
successful. That sounds dumb to people.
Like, no, what the you going to Oh, poor
you. You're on TV making $50,000 a week
or whatever you're making. Like, poor
you. But no, you're you're in hell
because you're doing something that
sucks and you have to show up every day
doing this thing when you know you could
have been on Seinfeld or you if you just
got cast on Friends.
>> That's a trap, too. You know, is like
>> the people who,
you know, if because it really is like a
job and you'll you may have a really
nice house, right? and you have a nice
car, but you know, you're you're
getting, you know, uh you're in Studio
City and you get in your car and you
drive to the this job and it's kind of
shitty and sucks, but there's amenities,
great craft services, guy makes [ __ ]
Frappuccinos right there, you know, and
>> and then you go and have dinner with
somebody fancy somewhere and then you
just get up and do the same thing over
and over again.
>> Yeah. And you keep buying things cuz
that's how you reward yourself. You buy
a new television. This one's even
bigger. You know, you buy a new car. I
got the new car, you know. And you're
that's what you're doing to reward
yourself for doing this job that sucks.
>> What? I get that, too. I mean, I will on
a much smaller scale. But when I when I
make a good payday, I'll buy some
expensive boxes of baseball cards.
>> Oh, you're a baseball card collector.
That's the thing. Oh, interesting.
>> Yeah. Um but have been uh going back
it's not like right
>> like I feel like I have legit you know
>> baseball street cred.
>> Yes.
>> Yes. Um but that's the thing. And also
it's it's I mean the argument can be
made. It's an investment. A shitty
investment.
>> Yeah.
>> But an investment nonetheless. But it's
also like gambling cuz it's like a
scratchoff ticket because everybody's
chasing the one of one cards and you're
opening the packs and stuff.
>> Oh, that's how you do it. You buy packs
unopened. I buy boxes. Yeah. So, I buy a
hobby box which has a better It's more
expensive. It has a better chance of
Well, that is more like auto rookie
cards or relic cards or something like
that.
>> Um
>> Well, those are that is an investment
though because you could always sell
them. People always want them.
>> Yes. Uh I I just mean since I started,
you know, God 30 years ago, 40 years
ago. Uh yeah, 30 like in the 90s, early
90s, maybe 80. No, 89. 89. So, uh
whatever money I put in is there's
nowhere near if I sold everything. I
mean, it's talking about half the money
I put in. But I have them and I like
them and I'm not I'm not gonna sell
them. I have I
>> So that's your reward. That's what you
>> reward. Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> My thing was uh in my poverty days it
was comic books. So uh one of my
>> which is also an investment.
>> Yeah. Well it became one eventually but
when one when during my poverty days my
my biggest saddest moment was when I had
to sell my comic books because I had no
money.
>> Yeah.
>> I had no money and I had these old
Spider-Man's and these old Incredible
Hulks. Yeah. which were probably now
worth
>> oh my god probably hundreds of thousands
of dollars. I had some really good ones
in the plastic sleeve and I'd keep them
in the sear. Be very careful pulling
them out, opening them up. Oh, I love
comic books. And I had collected them
since I was a child.
>> Oh, that's a bummer, man.
>> I wanted to be a comic book illustrator.
That's what I Is that your thing? Do you
>> Yeah, that's what I Oh, I didn't know
when I was a kid.
>> Is any of this any of that stuff yours?
>> No, no, no. None of that stuff is mine.
All the artwork.
Yes.
>> Oh, wow. Cool.
>> Yeah. Well, I haven't in a long time,
but I was really good when I was still.
Yeah, I could still draw. I can still
draw a little, but it's like
>> But if you wanted to do your own comic
book, that's you could do that.
>> I would have to start practicing again
and get But when I was a teenager, I was
really good. And that was what I wanted
to do. But I had a really terrible art
teacher in high school. He was just a
[ __ ] just a miserable guy. Just
miserable. and is like, "You're not
going to get that job." Like, you know,
I'm like, "What?" Like, "You can't just
draw what you want." I'm like, "What do
you why not?"
>> It's like a Dan Close thing. Have you
read uh Art School Confidential?
>> No.
>> Oh, you know Dan Claus, right?
>> I know he is.
>> Yeah. Yeah. His stuff is [ __ ] genius,
too. I've used that word too many times.
>> That's okay. There's a lot of geniuses
out there.
>> There aren't that many.
>> I want to be I want to be if you search
around
>> I want to be um judicious with it. But
uh
uh yeah, his so he's the guy who did
8-Ball uh and then he's got he did uh
Ghostworld turned into a movie and then
there was another one that was uh uh
Wilson that was turned into a movie. Um
his stuff is great, but
he has a thing about art, you know,
shitty teachers, art school teachers. He
has a comic story. Well, I was I quit on
my last year in high school. I stopped
doing art just because my teacher was so
bad. And then there was this one guy in
my class that I recently reconnected
with, this guy John D'vor, who was the
best artist in the class. There was me,
uh, this guy Kevin and John, and we were
the best artist in the class. I was
probably like third best, but John was
the best. And John got an F his last
year from this guy. And I'm like, he
gave you a [ __ ] F? He's like, that
guy was such a [ __ ] We were going back
and forth in the emails.
>> Was it was he was it about purity or
what was the
>> No, he was terrible. He wasn't a good
artist. He was uh he was just miserable.
He was miserable. He was like this thin
man with a big pot belly. So I think he
just drank himself to sleep every night
and he was just
>> sad easy.
>> Hey, you're getting too close.
>> He was just sad. He was just a sad guy.
What was his justific justification for
saying this isn't any good or you get an
F?
>> If I had to be honest, I think he hated
potential,
>> right?
>> Yeah. Because he hated John. And if he
hated John, like John was genius. He was
brilliant and John wound up not being an
artist either.
>> Wow.
>> Think of how many examples of that
>> where kids
>> talent or dreams or aspirations are kind
of crushed and and to the point of like
it's not worth it. No,
>> I don't want to deal with this [ __ ]
Well, it's like bad teachers,
>> bad teachers can really ruin your life
and good teachers can change your life.
>> Yeah.
>> You know, I had a teacher in middle
school that gave me one thought that has
been that stuck with me like my whole
life. When I was I guess I was like 13
and he he was a science teacher and he
was talking about space. He goes and he
was just saying I I just want you to sit
here and comprehend when we're in this
classroom. I want you to comprehend the
concept of infinity, that the universe
is infinite, that there is no end. Just
hurt your head, lie in bed at night, and
think about how it goes on and on and
there's no ending to it.
>> And we were all in class like 13 going,
"What the [ __ ] man?"
>> I mean, it was the way he said it. I'm
not doing it justice cuz he was like
kind of a spooky guy. He went to
Vietnam. He like grizzled [ __ ] dude
who's like But brilliant. And that guy
like that one thought I I carry with me
all the time.
>> Especially at 13, too. You know, it's
it's
>> cuz you're you're about to start losing
sight of those the the importance that
those concepts will have and we just
dismiss them and go, "Yeah, yeah, it's
big, whatever."
>> Yeah. He This guy birthed my fascination
with space at 13. I don't think I was
even interested in space before then.
And then I became absolutely fascinated
by it. I just couldn't get my hand
enough books about cosmology and space
travel and
>> yeah,
>> but this guy that was his art teacher
was just I think he just was he life
didn't turn out the way he wanted it to
and he wanted to squash the hopes and
dreams of talented people.
>> Yeah, I think that's
>> unfortunately that's a real thing.
>> Yeah, it's it's more common than you
might hope for. Yeah, I think that's uh
that's a very real, you know, very real
thing unfortunately.
>> So that was my dream. My dream was to be
a comic book illustrator. So when I was
a young kid, from the time I was like,
god, like six or seven, when I lived in
San Francisco, I would collect uh all
these different comic books. That was
what I would do. I would just go
>> and that uh that San Francisco was the
what's the you know uh the
counterculture comic uh there was like
the big
>> Arcrumb. Arcrumb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
>> But there was like a publisher, right,
that's famous.
>> Yeah. God, I don't Yeah, I I do know
what you're thinking of. I can't
remember the name of it, but I was
really interested. I really loved like
the old creepy and eerie comic books,
too. Do you know my grandom did?
>> Oh, this is going to hurt your feelings.
Uh my I had a uh my uncle who eventually
went insane um was a huge EC comics,
right? early uh I don't know where but
all the EC stuff and then you know early
MAD uh magazine stuff but he had this
collection and I was
probably
eight maybe and I had expressed interest
in these you know can I not thinking in
terms of uh uh investment just can I
have them I like them and they're and I
would sit and read them and they're
really cool and they're creepy, you
know, and they're scary. Some of them
are scary and uh um and she I don't I
think she just threw them away
like original and and I'm going to guess
I don't know but I'm going to guess
like quarter of a million dollars worth
threw them away.
>> They're just comics.
>> They were so good. I love those old
black and white like really like deeply
illustrated
>> and like super creepy um
like
um
>> Yeah,
>> weird science tales from the crypt
>> vault of horror. Yeah.
>> God, those were great.
>> Look at that.
>> Yeah, some of them were really gory.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh, I love the Crypt Keeper.
>> Yeah.
>> Tales from the Crypt. Yeah, that stuff
was like
>> I loved it when I was a kid.
>> Yeah.
>> Holy [ __ ]
>> those were incredible.
>> It was like Do you remember seeing um uh
Twilight Zone when you were a kid? It
just
>> blowing your mind like wow.
>> You think about the early Twilight Zone,
how many premises they went over, like
how many different brilliant premises
they had in the early Twilight Zone
>> that Yeah. that have uh been, you know,
stolen completely.
>> Oh, yeah. over and over and over again.
Yeah. But just like so genius and
creative.
>> Yeah.
>> The William Shackner one when he's in
the diner and the the little machine
that is giving him fortunes and they all
turn out to be true.
>> I don't remember that one.
>> Oh my god, there were so many good ones.
How about the the Burgess Meredith one
where he just wants to be alone with
books and there's a nuclear bomb and
he's like finally and then he breaks his
glasses.
>> Yep. and the uh um the one the what is
it called? situation on Main Street or
something like that where they there's
it's so genius and ahead of its time
where there's a you know it's a suburban
street and
the lights go out or something goes out
and then eventually all the neighbors
are at each other's throats accusing
each other of the this thing and then
uh the very and they're all like and
then they start getting guns and uh at
the very and you're watching the whole
thing unfold. Uh, and that at the very
end, here it is.
>> So, monsters are due on Maple Street.
>> The monsters are due on Maple Street.
Yeah. And it So, they're talking about
these monsters that are, you know,
and who are the monsters? And it's and
they all become suspicious. Yeah. The
lights are out. And eventually you pull
away from this whole thing and it's two
aliens in a, you know, flying saucer and
they're Yeah, there it is. And they're
going, "This is how we'll take over."
It's street by street by street and this
is how we'll do it.
>> You don't have to go in there guns
ablazing. They'll kill themselves. And
it's like, how far ahead of time was
that? You know,
>> it's genius.
>> And the uh
>> divide and conquer.
>> Mhm. and the to serve mankind.
>> That was a great one. Yeah, it's a
cookbook. Yeah, there's so many amazing
premises. There was like no duds. If you
go back and watch the Twilight Zone,
even today, like it's all brilliant.
>> There's one I remember that was that was
a dud
>> that I remember. I haven't seen it in a
long time, but it's a it's uh a
it's either really really really cold
and there's this uh poor family in a um
you know, New York City and they can't
get heat or it's really really hot and
they can't get cold and they're dealing
with people who are like you know in the
family who are really sick and then the
twist was it's like oh it's really it's
somebody who has a fever. And they're
not. It It just wasn't that good.
>> Ah, well, they're allowed one, dud.
>> That's one.
>> I I don't think I ever saw that one, but
I remember so many of them were so
creative.
>> Oh, amazing.
>> It's kind of nuts if you think about it
because it was completely original.
Nothing like that existed before it.
>> Yep.
>> And they It was like this open field
that was rich with premises and they
just took all the good ones.
>> Yeah.
>> And then everybody afterwards like,
"Fuck." It's like like don't like South
Park always does jokes about like
Simpsons already covered something. Like
they always joke around about like how
The Simpsons have kind of covered so
many premises because they've you know
they've been around since I go God. The
Simpsons was when I was in [ __ ] high
school.
>> Yeah. Like 30 years, right?
>> At least more than that. When was the
When did The Simpsons first come on Fox?
>> Tracy man show that.
>> What year was that? 86.
>> 86. It was right after I got out of high
school.
>> I was a tiny tiny kid and I had only
called them the family. So I kind of
remember that.
>> So I graduated in ' 85. So it was right
after high school and the Simpsons are
still on the air.
>> Yeah.
>> Nuts.
>> Nuts.
>> Oh, do you remember
>> 87?
>> Yeah.
>> Do you remember the Twilight Zone where
the there's the real pompous guy at
there's like a men's club kind of thing,
whatever. Uh, and there's this real
loudmouth, pompous
uh, guy, and this other guy's like, you
know, um,
you know, would you shut up? You can't I
bet you can't go I bet you can't stop
talking for a year or whatever, month, I
can't remember what it is. And the guy's
like, absolutely. I'll bet you $100,000
you can't go one month without talking.
He's like, I'll take that bet. and they
basically create like this little kind
of cage in this men's club and he spends
a month uh and he's not talking and
he's, you know, and then they turns out
the guy can't pay him. He didn't have
the money to begin with to pay off the
bet cuz the guy goes the full month or
year or whatever. And it turns out that
the guy who made that bet, who was not
going to talk for a year, also
desperately needed the money and had his
tongue cut out.
>> Oh, Jesus Christ.
>> Yeah, it's
>> Oh, I do remember that one.
>> Oh, God.
>> And think of these things as kids like,
whoa.
>> You know, and of course the cornfield.
I'll banish you to the cornfield, you
know.
>> Yeah.
It's just amazing that Well, if you stop
and think about how new television was
back then. I mean, television was only a
couple decades old back then.
>> Yeah.
>> Barely. Yeah.
>> If that like when what year was the
Twilight Zone? What was the premiere?
>> Sterling. Guess
>> 67.
>> No, earlier.
>> I'm gonna say 59.
>> Yeah, you're probably right. Yeah.
>> Is it 59? Wow.
>> I got on the I got it exact
>> October 2nd, 1959.
>> Damn, son.
>> Yeah,
>> pretty good.
>> Wow. Wow. So, if you think about it,
television, when did it start? What was
like the first television programs? Was
it the 30s?
>> I think uh it was Real Housewives of
Yoners. I think it was Real Housewives
of Yoners.
>> If they could watch some of these
reality shows today, they'd be like,
"What the [ __ ] did we do?"
>> Yes. I think so. Wait, Andy Cohen. What?
Who? Why? How?
>> What is this?
>> Um the f it was the it was um wasn't it
like the the
um where they would do plays. What? You
know what I mean? Like um
uh
>> Well, I Love Lucy was on it was on and
done before this even started.
>> Well, the honeymooners, right? That
would have been
>> What year was that?
>> That was 51 to 57. Here's like a list of
shows that were on before.
>> Yeah.
>> Honeymooners was huge.
>> Alfred Hitchcock Presents was on before
that.
>> So, what was the first television show?
Go back
>> way back to here. 1920s.
>> 1920s.
>> No,
>> the Queen's Messenger.
>> That's BBC.
>> Early US
>> scripted TV show
>> crap television theater. That's what I
was thinking of. Where they would do um
plays,
>> you know, and it was sponsored.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. live drama anthology
usually treated as the start of the
first golden age of television. Howdy
Duty 1947 right after the war.
>> Ed Sullivan show.
>> Wow.
>> Yeah. And then the first uh Oh, your
show of shows. Wow. How about that?
>> 1950.
>> I love Lucy.
>> Wow.
>> Father Knows Best.
>> Today's show is still on. Wow.
>> Did you guys ever talk about doing more
Mr. Shows?
Um, we did like a revivalish thing on
>> a great [ __ ] show, man.
>> Well, thank you.
>> It was very original. I love how things
just streamed into another thing.
>> Yeah, that was hard. That was
>> I would imagine biggest pain. If you
ever see us, you see an episode and we
are pulling out of a bumper sticker or
pulling out of a sign on a desk. That
means we spent two [ __ ] days
yelling at each other trying to figure
out a transition and just going, "Fuck
it. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT." You know, and
uh um and we tried not to do that, but
we uh occasionally we're just like,
"Move on. We're wasting our time," you
know? Um but it wasn't a waste of time.
It was so it was brilliant. Like the
people that watched it appreciated it
because you could feel this thing about
it like this was new. this was different
like you you' taken a creative chance
that was unique
>> it and you know part of the success of
it I think there's two things one is you
know it was all live and we did we you
know we would show the videos or them
little films to the audience and so any
laughs there was never sweetening any of
the laughs you you hear from the
audience and we got it by the time we
were like kind Towards the end of the
second series, we got it down to we
could shoot a show in 44 minutes, you
know.
>> Wow.
>> Yeah. Because it was, you know, we
wouldn't wouldn't have to do it twice
often. We'd get it, you know, and our
stop down. We got really good at um
super quick, you know, uh uh stage
shifts and stop downs and stuff. And
yeah, we were we were we got good. we
got uh and that keeps the energy up and
the kind of flow of everything. Um so
that was helpful in that and we also
didn't um do a lot of reoccurring
characters. We did a two or three that
pop up occasionally, but it's all like,
you know, and it wasn't like a real
person. We we do it's it's about, you
know, it wouldn't be about Paris Hilton.
would be about the idea of a rich girl
who gets famous for being on re you know
what I mean? It wouldn't be so so like
you watch some of those SNLs and like
who what who is this person
>> right
>> and you you don't get it you don't get
the bit cuz you don't get the reference.
>> Yeah. Because as you watch it in the
future those people aren't relevant
anymore. Yeah.
>> Yeah. And you don't even know what it
was the you can't remember. Right.
>> Right. Because it's so topical.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. Well, it was just you guys were
doing something different and it's hard
to do something different in a sketch
show.
>> Yeah. Yeah. But HBO was responsible for
that. They said, you know, in in very
clear terms like we don't want you to be
conventional. This is HBO and this is
back when they're trying to get an ident
identity for themselves and they're
like, we want you to do stuff that you
can't do on NBC or Fox or whatever. We
want you to, you know, help us make a
distinction, you know. Great.
>> Did you enjoy the process?
>> Oh, very much so. It was uh I mean, a
lot of laughs, a lot of it was hard and
you know, initially
there was a there was a a a definite
market change when Bob met his who the
woman who would become his wife and had
kids. like he just mellowed
completely, you know, and but before
that he was [ __ ] driven and I wasn't
I was I was a goofball and I I wanted to
work and I wanted to uh you know had all
these ideas but I was very much like hey
guys it's 5:00 I think the bar is going
to be open in a minute. like I was let's
go, you know, and and he was just super
driven, you know, and we had long long
long days. And then when we did in the
third season, we did uh produced and um
you know, helped out in all aspects of
production with Tenacious D and those
shorts. And so there was just no
downtime. And I remember there was 38
days where we worked full days non-stop
without any break. And I just wasn't
that kind of person. I was going crazy
like I just need to go have a Saturday,
you know,
>> or
it it was it was that part was hard. All
worth it. No complaints. Um
and
>> you know,
>> there's a point of diminishing returns
though, like where you dry yourself out
creatively, too.
>> Yes. and and I've run other rooms like
I've I've done shows since then and I a
valuable lesson I learned uh when you're
just kind of running a writer's room is
when you're at that place and and it's
exactly like you said diminishing
returns you're not getting any any work
done your brain isn't it's foggy I I was
very quick to go all right guys let's go
put your pens down put your fold your
computer up we're going to go walk
around the we're just going to go
outside and walk around. Let's go get a
coffee. Let's do anything. Let's we're
we're getting out of here and we'll walk
around. Don't worry about it. We'll come
back in 35 minutes and we'll you know
see what we got. And
>> that's very good for you.
>> Yeah, it is. It is.
>> Most writers like I was actually talking
to Brian Simpson about that last night.
He was like, I get my best because Brian
has been walking a lot. He recently had
a heart attack unfortunately. uh he's
fine, but he almost wasn't. And so now
he's dedicated himself to walking. He's
walking a lot every day. And he's like,
"When I go on my walks, like so many
ideas come to me. I'm sitting at home
staring at my computer, nothing's going
on. I go on a walk and all of a sudden
ideas are firing."
>> When I'm I'm I'm in the process. Uh this
will be my fifth uh time that I've uh
done this thing that I've been doing to
get new material for uh for a tour. And
I uh so I do these things called
shooting the [ __ ] seeing what sticks.
And they're all in Brooklyn. Uh and
they're all either walkable or I can
ride my bike to every one of these
venues. and and mostly I'll just walk
and I'll I just go okay clear out clear
out my head and think about the stuff I
want to talk about and think of and also
I live in New York so there's constant
[ __ ] happening that I can observe you
know and uh it's it's the best the best
thing for me you know to to to come up
with new material and stuff that just
think about it Yeah, like I was saying,
walk
>> when I was a kid, when I was driving
limos, that's when I would come up with
my best material cuz I was no radio. You
can't listen to a radio cuz you have
clients in the car. So, you're just
driving
>> and just doing a thing and your your
mind just starts to wander and you
>> y
>> ideas come to you.
>> Cell phones.
>> No, none of that [ __ ]
>> Yeah, it's uh it's important, you know.
Um
>> the news radio guys would do something
totally different. They would stay up
late. That was their whole thing. That's
That's not
>> Their whole thing was sleep deprivation.
Their whole thing was they would play
video games. Like those [ __ ]
got me hooked on Quake. Uh cuz they
>> I remember Quake.
>> You remember that?
>> That was the first one with the Unreal
Engine.
>> Yeah. Well, Unreal is a different That's
a different game. You're thinking of
Unreal.
>> No, no, no. It was called Unreal
>> Tournament.
>> Yeah, trust me.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. I'm a dork. Listen, Unreal is a
totally different engine. ID Software
was a different company.
Software was created with John Carmarmac
and John Romero. They came up with Doom
and then they came up with Quake
afterwards. So it was a completely
different engine.
>> They were the first ones. Wolf Castle
Wolfenstein was the first 3D shooter and
then Doom was the big one.
>> You clearly know your [ __ ] I thought it
was I The Unreal Engine was the first
used for Unreal the game.
>> Right.
>> Got it.
>> Totally different company. Totally
different game. Different dynamics,
different It was very different game.
Great game.
>> Hey. All right. I got it. Jesus Christ,
this [ __ ] guy.
>> Great game. You want to know where the
name Doom came from?
>> Uh yeah. The scene in The Color of Money
with Tom Cruz where Tom Cruz uh shows up
at this pool hall and there's this local
hot shot player and the guy's beating
everybody and uh Tom Cruz is sitting
there with a pool cube case and he's
waiting to play this guy. He's like,
"What you got in the case?" He goes,
"Oh, in here." And he opens up. He goes,
"Doom.
Doom.
>> Oh yeah,
>> that's it.
They say, "Yeah, let's play."
>> That's it. So, what they wanted to do
with the video game industry was the
same like that. That was like their
moment like this is doom for you guys.
That was well it was I mean I
>> that was my first experience
ever with uh
realizing the sun was coming up and I'd
been playing this thing for eight hours.
>> Yeah.
>> Do you you know Mark Cohen? All right.
So Mark when Mark was living in New York
and he had Doom
>> and I would go uh I wasn't living there.
I would like crash at his place and
tiny. I'd be like, "Um, can I can I play
Doom?" And you know, I would he would go
to bed and wake up and I'd be on still
playing.
>> So,
>> dude, you want to know how addicted I
was? I had a T1 line installed in my
house.
>> So, I I had to have they have to chew up
the [ __ ] street and install like a
business internet line into my house.
1997
I was living in California in Bell
Canyon
>> and um they they had to do work on my
[ __ ] street cuz there was no
high-speed internet available where I
lived. I could get an ISDN line which
was only like
124k.
It sucked. You get too much lag. So I
started with 56k or 50 what was it? 54k
56k whatever it was. Dialup terrible.
And then I got ISDN, not good enough.
And I was like, what else is available?
And they're like, well, you can get a T1
line, but
>> this is for the president.
>> A month. I was like, let's go. Cuz I was
I had sitcom money. I was single. I was
living by myself.
>> And they had to tear up your street.
>> They had to tear up my street and
install a T1 line in my house.
>> Hey, what are you doing? I'm trying to
get in my driveway. What's going on? Oh,
this guy's wants to play Doom. This was
Quake 2 at the time. And it was so good.
the the internet was so good that I
could host my own server. So I had my
own game server. So like people could
come and play this Quake game off of my
machine.
>> Wow.
>> So I would have no latency and other
people would have some late especially
people had like 56K. I
>> remember the when it started going um
>> Yeah, that was me back in the early
early days.
>> Look at that monitor. Yeah, that's what
we played on these big ass [ __ ]
monitors and we'd set up local area
networks. So the the [ __ ] writers of
News Radio are the ones that got me
hooked on this because I didn't play any
video games and I would go to visit them
in the writer room like what are you
guys doing? And they're like, "We're
playing Quake." I go, "What is Quake?"
And I'd watch them play. I'm like, "Oh
my god, this is incredible." And you put
on the headphones and it's like you
realize it's 3D sound. Like oh my god,
this is
>> Were you a uh Golden Eye guy?
>> No, I was only I only played Quake. I
was only like a first person shooter
guy. I got so addicted to it and the
fact that you could just go online.
>> Golden Eye was I mean I'm talking about
the co-op.
>> I know what it is. Yeah.
>> Well, that was uh first person shooter.
Right.
>> Right. But it was like realworld
physics. I wasn't interested in that.
Like with Quake, you could rocket jump.
So you could press a press your rocket
down the ground, blow up, and you'd go
flying through the air. It was [ __ ]
amazing. Do do you remember ah I want to
say
[ __ ] uh
red or the first one where you could
your bullets and uh [ __ ] could affect
the uh environment like you could blow
out a wall. You know what I mean?
>> Yeah. I don't know what that was.
>> Uh I want to say it was like a it took
place on Mars or like a Martian mining
thing. Ah,
>> but it was the first time you could go,
>> uh, oh [ __ ] I can blow up this edge of
the wall and it'll crumble on the guy,
you know, as opposed to just bullets and
stuff.
>> Oh, you could use the environment as a
>> Red Faction. I believe that was it.
>> There you go. Okay,
>> that was the one where uh
>> I had to quit. It was a problem. We set
up an a local area network at our old
studio in LA a few years back
>> and I played so much
>> that I was like, I gotta stop. I have to
stop.
>> Do your kids play?
>> No, they play little games like they'll
play like Roblox and stuff like that.
One of my kids
>> Roblox. Uh-uh. You know about the chat?
>> I do now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like
predators are trying to find kids
through Roblox. Yeah.
>> That's a big thing in our school. Like
>> weird, man. It's weird how many [ __ ]
creeps there are out there in the world.
Well, my thankfully my daughter who's
nine, how old are your kids?
>> 15 and 17 are the youngest ones.
>> Okay. So, so they're pass they're
safe. They got they got they're good.
>> Um
>> but uh
so so we had a uh my daughter is way
into Minecraft, which I have no problem
with. It's great. And she plays with her
friends. they play online and help each
other build things and um but the Roblox
thing became a thing at our school and
our and everybody at our all the parents
are like super on top of that [ __ ] and
there's you know WhatsApp chains and all
that stuff and um
and we told our daughter there's like
this one game she was playing that had a
chat thing and
uh and then somebody who was a quote
unquote girl who lived in I live on a
farm in Ohio or whatever. Uh asking her
stuff and she's like, "My name's Marlo."
And going back and forth and then
she asked the the quote unquote girl
said,
"What is your
uh Instagram login or something like
that?" And my daughter was eight at the
time. And she uh she was like, "Oh,
I don't think she didn't say that's none
of your business," but it was something
that was smart that was
equivalent to I don't think you need to
know that or something and then told us
and we shut down the chat thing and, you
know, disabled the chat and that shit's
real, man.
>> Yeah.
>> I mean,
>> it's creepy. I'm very glad that my
daughter, you know, because and it
really was about the Roblox thing that
everybody in our her school, elementary
school was, they talked about it, you
know.
>> Yeah. It's a Snapchat thing, too. So
Snapchat comes with something called a
Snap Map and kids use it to know where
their friends are.
>> Yeah. And so someone can pretend to be
your friend and find out who you are and
then they can know where you are at all
times if you have Snapchat enabled. God,
the [ __ ] this generation is going to
have to [ __ ] deal with.
>> Mhm.
>> Is just terrifying, man.
>> Right. And what's next? Like, how is
that
>> It's not going to go the opposite
direction.
>> No, it never does.
>> No, it's going to keep going in that
same direction where it's going to be
more and more intrusive in your life.
>> And And I my I mean, it makes me [ __ ]
heart sick when I think about AI and
we're at the [ __ ] infancy of this
[ __ ] And what
I I assume you saw that Tilly Norwood
thing, the the actress that was created
by this Dutch
>> my it does not compute. I'm watching
this thing and I know that it's made up
but there's my brain is like it's hard
to comprehend like that's not a real
person. She's standing right there.
She's, you know, picks up a bunch of
leaves and there are other people there
and that's a real and and your brain is
going, "No, that's all computerenerated.
We're at the [ __ ] infancy of this
shit." And what I don't know what my
daughter is going to have to deal with,
man.
>> No, no one knows. No one knows. And it's
impossible to know. Like when they show
news clips.
>> Yeah.
>> It's impossible. I mean, so many people
are retweeting
scenes from video games thinking it's
actual war footage. Like, no one no one
>> [ __ ] uh uh the Department of Defense
did that,
>> did they? Really?
>> Yeah. Yeah. That was a whole [ __ ]
thing.
>> They retweeted a video game footage.
>> Yeah. And they they they were saying it
was for a um I think it was for a a uh
you know, to get people to sign up
thing. Uh, and then somebody went, "Uh,
that's from, you know, whatever it was,
Call of Duty or something like that.
That's that's not that's not us bombing
somebody. That's a thing." Yeah. Just
like two weeks ago.
>> That's crazy. Yeah. It's impossible to
tell when you look at these artificial
actors like they have pores.
>> Yeah.
>> You can see like the the irises. Have
you seen the the any of the um
uh the like deep fake not deep fake but
AI porn where it's like somebody's like
a newscaster is like
and um and in other news uh my big juicy
tits and I'm serious and then pulls and
then then a dick comes in you know it's
like you're like what the and it looks
real and then it'll say like uh none of
I mean, these are not actors. These are
uh none of this.
>> Yeah,
>> it's, you know, good lord, man.
>> And it's only beginning. And now, wait
till it becomes VR. So, you're going to
strap on a helmet with a haptic feedback
suit and you're going to enter into an
artificial world. It's coming. It's It's
inevitable.
>> What I'll do? I'm going to get divorced
and I'm going to get one of those suits.
I'm going to go up I got a house in the
woods upstate. That's all I'm doing.
>> Just a T1 line.
>> And then Yeah. I'm going to have have
them rip up the street.
>> Well, you won't even need it now. It's
Starlink.
>> Yeah.
>> Just slap one of those things on your
roof.
>> God damn.
>> It's [ __ ] wild, man. And it's and no
one knows where it's going.
>> I really would be very upset if I miss
the
shift in porn to that like I don't want
to die before I get to do that thing
where you're like, "Dude, it was
amazing. I put on a helmet and it was
like I was [ __ ] like I don't want to
I do I do want to experience that.
>> It's going to happen. It's you're going
to put something on. It's going to sync
up with your mind and all of a sudden
>> Yeah.
>> You're going to be in this matrix.
You're going to be in another world.
>> You see um
uh
uh three planet problem. Is am I saying
that right?
>> Yeah. Three body problem.
>> Three body problem. Amazing.
>> Yeah. But that whole the idea that you
put that thing on, you're like, "Oh
[ __ ] I'm here."
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly
how it's going to be.
>> Okay, good.
>> Yeah. No doubt. No doubt.
>> They're they already can do a lot of
like really weird [ __ ] with those
helmets where they can communicate
without words where you can think a
thing and the other person knows exactly
what you're saying. They can hear you
and they can respond to it.
>> Wait. Wait.
>> Yes. Yeah. So, there's two people.
They're sitting across from each other
and they're having conversations with
these head pieces on and the person will
think a thought and this other person
will hear the thought.
>> No,
>> I don't understand the technology, but
no, we'll show it to you. Find that
video. It's [ __ ] bonkers because
again, this is the infancy of this.
Like, here it is. These are the guys.
>> It's called Alter Ego.
>> Yeah. Watch this. Put Put your uh
>> I'm going to skip ahead though, by the
way.
>> Yeah. Skip ahead to where they're
actually doing it.
>> Okay. So see how is that headpiece on?
>> Y
>> we believe it's a revolutionary
breakthrough with the potential to
change the way we interact with our
technology with one another and with the
world around us. The current way of
interacting with computing and AI is
limited to how fast you can tap and
swipe on screens and keyboards. For the
intelligence age,
>> we need an entirely new interface.
>> Yeah, skip ahead to these guys.
>> Here we go.
>> Let's do it.
So, they're just thinking. How do you
think the demo is going so far?
>> How do you think the demo is going so
far?
>> I think they just put it on voices. So,
for the video,
>> pretty great. No major glitches yet.
>> No major glitches yet.
>> So, they're hearing this.
>> All right. Enough. Enough.
>> When do you want to get lunch after
this? Where do you want to get lunch
after this?
>> Where do you want to get lunch after
this?
I'll skip to the next part, too.
>> Thai food could be good.
>> This translates nuts into Chinese
form.
>> Then he can speak Chinese back.
How nuts is this?
So, not only is it read your thoughts,
it'll translate your thoughts into
another language
>> and no one is saying anything.
>> My what if you
>> right?
>> But wait a minute.
>> Yeah.
>> What if
>> you know where I'm about to go?
>> Right.
>> That's not Well, so this is based off of
them like sort of talking in their mouth
without actually saying it. It's But
yeah, it's
>> Yeah. Have you seen
>> I would like to [ __ ] your mouth. Please
don't.
>> Yeah.
>> Even if your mind just goes,
>> right? Like, okay, I can't think about
this thing. It'll think about it anyway.
>> Right. Right. Of course.
>> Oh god, that's terrifying.
>> And it's just a simple thing that you're
sitting on your head. It's not even a
big helmet. It's just little thing on.
>> What would Art Bell say? What would Art
Bell say?
>> He would open up the future line.
>> Just write about it every day.
>> Yeah. He missed it.
>> Yeah.
>> Damn. cigarettes. He died before he
could see it all.
>> God, I wonder what he'd think of because
I I do sometimes wonder like what would
Crimin say about this? What would Bill
Hicks say about this? And what would Art
Bell think about this?
>> Sure. Yeah. What's the strangest of
times? Because we're about to give birth
to a digital god.
>> That's essentially what they're
creating. They're already It's already
shown a propensity to stay alive,
blackmail people. It lies. It downloads
itself into other servers, uploads
itself into different places, leaves
messages for its future self if it
thinks they're going to discontinue it.
>> All the all the sci-fi stuff is all it's
all happening.
>> Yeah. Well, not only that, they think
the the engineers thinks Claude, which
is the uh which one is that?
>> Which company is uh Claude?
>> Anthropic.
>> Anthropic. They think it's already
sentient.
>> It just doesn't have a physical
>> defense department. That's the one the
defense department one.
>> Yeah. And when by the way, when they do
war games with these things, 98% of the
time it chooses nuclear weapons.
>> They have a new version of it called
Mythos. Uh when they were testing it,
which they're not letting it out yet. Uh
it I think that the test they put it
through was like, "All right, you're
locked on the internet, find your way
out." And I and it did. did found all
these things called zero day exploits
which I think if you like hacking you
know what that is but
>> you explained it to me
>> uh it's like when they started it's uh
like on an iPhone they're looking for
zero day exploits on an iPhone if they
could find one
>> what is a zero day
>> exploit like a I'll find the correct
definition so I don't even [ __ ] it up
but
>> and it's uh something the that Claude
came up with or zero day exploit hackers
have done this forever
>> you have zero days to fix the
>> cyber attack targeting a software ware
vulnerability unknown to vendors or the
public,
>> leaving zero days to fix it. Hackers use
these flaws to steal data, install
malware. So they they completely shut
off the AI from the outside world and it
figured out a way to send a message
>> and it thinks it can like Wall Street's
very nervous all passwords might be
[ __ ]
>> Yep.
>> Oh, this is terrifying.
>> Elizabeth Holmes, you know that lady
that got in trouble for the that whole
fake blood thing? Uh she just tweeted
something how she tweets from jail. I'm
not exactly sure how that works, but she
tweeted
um delete all phone all photos from the
cloud. Get rid of all your email. There
will be no privacy in a year.
Anything on the cloud, anything that you
think you're you're you know you're
keeping from other people, it's going to
crack all all encryption. All passwords
are useless. Everything. So, think of
all the things that rely on all the
banking apps. All the all like
everything.
>> What about my uh fantasy baseball team?
>> Seriously, I can't have
>> here it is. Delete your search history.
Delete your bookmarks. Delete your
Reddit medical records. 12-year-old
Tumblr. Delete everything. Every photo
in the cloud, every message on every
platform. None of it is safe. It will
all become public in the next year.
Local storage and compute.
Wow.
recommendation here is to own your own
data. Download it, store it locally,
train your models on it. Yeah.
>> Yeah, it's true.
>> Meaning just have an external
>> Yeah. AGI is here. Even if it's isn't
broadly deployed. I think she's right.
>> What is AGI?
>> Artificial general intelligence. General
intelligence meaning it acts like an
individual, acts like a like a an
entity. And then there's artificial
general super intelligence. So then it
acts like something far smarter than any
human being that's ever lived. It has
all the information that's available to
every human being all over the world
instantaneously.
Then it makes better versions of itself
because it's sentient and autonomous. So
then it can create better artificial
intelligences and that scales out to a
god.
>> Yeah. Open the pod doors hell. Yeah.
>> Yeah. But way bigger than that scares
out the zero point energy being able to
harness the energy of the universe
itself having no boundaries
>> material sciences all cracked alloys we
couldn't comprehend
>> well Joe who's going to save us
>> there's no one saving us
>> but from what
>> we are the last of the regular people
>> I think we're all going to have to
integrate I think if you don't integrate
you will you you won't survive
>> integ what do you mean by integrate
>> integrate you you'll probably become a
part of the artificial intelligence. I
think we will be symbiotic.
>> How how does that uh
>> like those [ __ ] helmets is probably
going to be a wearable and then or a
neural link type thing for the bold that
want to get a hole drilled in their
head.
>> But what if you don't do that? What
>> you're going to be left out in the cold.
the access to resources, the the the
ability to generate income, like the
people that get it are going to be able
to control so much so quickly that if
you don't adopt it early, you're going
to be [ __ ] Like, if you think we have
halves and have nots now, just wait
until the halves have artificial general
super intelligence inside their [ __ ]
head.
>> No, thank you.
>> Yeah, it's going to be real weird. I
think we're the I really genuinely
believe we're the last of the real
people
>> like regular biological people
>> turned into a bit of a bummer.
>> We'll be all right. Sort of till we're
not. But it it's also like we grew up
with nothing and we've we've we're like
if the simulation is real, you and I are
in a very interesting timeline because
we grew up where there was you just left
the house and your parents didn't know
where you were and then there was
answering machines and then there was
call ID,
>> you know, and then there were cell
phones and then there were cell phones
you can watch porn on and then there was
AI. It's like this slow but more rapid
as time goes on progression of
technology
>> and it's exponential and as you said
there's no going back. You don't go
back.
>> There's no going back
>> unless you want to be one of those
people that moves to Alaska and just
starts [ __ ] living off a caribou and
shooting a musket. Like you're not
you're not going back.
>> No. Wait. Why do I have to get a musket?
>> You get a regular rifle, I guess.
>> Yeah. Why? I mean I I'm not going to I'm
not going to cosplay the thing. I'll get
a I mean, I'm happy to have the caribou,
but why don't I just have a regular gun?
>> You should probably have a regular gun,
but eventually Well, you really should
probably have bow and arrow.
>> So, because you're going to have to be
able to make your own arrows, and after
a while, you're going to run out of
bullets, so you're going to have to feed
yourself with your own bows and arrows.
>> Okay.
>> And then the robots will show up. Robot
dogs. Didn't something happen in uh
Ukraine recently where uh a a a robot
engaged with people in war and the
people surrendered?
>> You say robot, what do you mean? Like
one of those Boston
>> Yeah. Yeah. Like using a robot in war
that the robot infiltrated the Russian
area and got them all to surrender and
they all like with no loss of life. They
just realize like, [ __ ]
>> It's like, did you see that Black Mirror
episode?
>> Yes.
>> Yeah.
>> Terrifying.
>> That's terrifying.
>> Terrifying.
>> Absolutely terrifying.
>> And not so far in the future.
>> Yeah.
>> That this [ __ ] thing that they
supposedly used in Afghanistan.
So, what is Ukraine forces Russian to
surrender using only robots? Silinsky
claims enemy position seized
autonomously for the first time without
any of his troops being put at risk.
>> Wow.
>> I mean, if the [ __ ] Terminators show
up, it's game over. If there's
biological human beings with guns and
bulletproof vests and the Terminators
show up and they can't miss and they
never get nervous and they're not
worried about dying
>> and they're not going to get sleepy
enough to eat. this thing that we were
talking about yesterday, uh, this ghost
murmur
supposedly. Now, my friend Andy, who is
a former Navy Seal,
>> who, uh, he doesn't believe it's real,
and I I'm not sure it's real either, but
what they said is they found that pilot
that was missing in Iran,
>> using something called ghost murmur that
can detect his very specific heartbeat
from 40 miles away. So they've
supposedly found him hiding in the
mountains waiting for them to pick him
up.
>> That makes I can see that. I mean
>> your heartbeat from 40 miles away. Your
specific biological signature.
>> I Yeah, I can I can see that. I mean
with the technology of like sonar radar
>> something quantum. It's called I think
it's called quantum magnetometry or some
[ __ ]
>> But what do they use to pinpoint the
there? It's an audible thing or
>> I don't know. I have no idea. But they
supposedly located this guy and it it
has a 40 mile range.
>> He doesn't
>> He doesn't have anything on.
>> I see.
>> No,
>> it's like they just scan you. They go,
"Okay, this is what David Cross's very
specific biological signature is." And
then you get lost hiking and they go,
"Oh, there he is. He's under that bush."
>> Why? Why am I under the bush?
>> You're hiding
>> from who?
>> I don't know. Robot dogs.
It's not going to work. We've clearly
>> It won't work. No, it won't work. Or
maybe you got lost in the woods. You're
waiting for someone to come rescue you
and they can find you.
>> But then I wouldn't be under a bush. I
>> Well, you go hiking. Maybe it's raining.
You see sought shelter under a tree or
something. I don't know. But you hurt
your ankle. You can't hike out.
>> Okay.
>> So, they find you.
>> It's been 24 hours. Where's David? Oh,
we found him.
>> Yeah, we would have found him earlier,
but he was hiding under a [ __ ] bush.
What the [ __ ] was he thinking?
He didn't want to get eaten. But I mean,
if that's real, like what what was the
actual term they use? Was it quantum? It
was quantum something kooky,
>> which is as soon as you say quantum, I'm
okay. What are you saying? What does
that mean? What does that mean? What are
you talking about? Are you talking about
quantum entanglement? Yeah. Like is
there somehow or another? supposedly
used ultra sensitive quantum
magnetometers, but I've I'm trying to
find the post where I've someone's like
that's not what they used,
>> right?
>> Yeah. I I saw the post where someone
said no, he had a thing on his body, so
they're lying about their ability.
>> Why would they um
why wouldn't they say that's what we
used?
>> I have no idea.
>> I have no idea. If they're going to make
up some technology, that's a wild thing
to make up. It's a very strange.
>> I mean, if if they really are using
misinformation and propaganda to show
that we have insanely superior
technology,
>> I guess you could say it's a bluff. It's
a nice bluff to pretend that we're that
sophisticated, that much above and
beyond everybody else that's out there
that we could find a very specific heart
rate signature from 40 miles away.
That's that's what I'm saying. They why
would they they would happily say,
"Yeah, we got this ability to do this."
You know,
>> I guess, but it's a weird lie. It's
probably a lie.
>> Bas lies,
>> right? But that one might be a lie based
on actual theory.
>> You know what I mean? Like there might
be actual
>> They're coming. They're trying to do
this. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Yeah. Which kind of makes sense. But I
mean, if that's a robot dog and it's
looking for you and you're hiding and it
could find your individual signature in
a apartment building filled with people
like there he is. Fifth floor.
>> Yeah.
>> O
>> Yeah.
>> And you hear the metal footsteps going
up the stairs. Chunk chunk chunk chunk
chunk chunk chunk chunk.
>> This is scary. You're scaring me.
>> It's scary. Well, someone's going to be
in control of all this stuff. That's
what's really terrifying. And it's all
these autistic dorks that are in charge
of all these tech companies. They're
going to be at the front.
>> This is also a kind of similar thing
where they have said that that's what
was what happened where they uh used
robots in quotes to capture them
unmanned but uh it's their version of
the story too,
>> right?
>> As I'm Ukraine's version all these uh
reports I see it says Ukraine claimed
that this happened. And then I'm
watching the video and I'm like, this
looks a little bit like when we send
robots in in swap missions here. Like we
we do that kind of already.
>> H right.
>> Yeah. But who's the source of this?
>> They're at uh
>> this is New York Post.
>> Captures enemy Russian position using
only robots. No humans. The future is
already on the front line. But then it's
going to be eventually why would we send
any people out there? It would be robots
capturing other robots,
>> which is great because nobody dies,
>> I guess.
>> Then why don't we just play a game of
chess?
>> You get the two leaders to play a game
of chess and the winner takes the land
and the resources.
>> Yeah, not a bad idea. Whatever the [ __ ]
we're going to do, it's like the whole
It's just insane. Like from the time I
was a little child thinking, "Oh boy, we
figured out no war. That's great." Yeah.
to No, we're we're fighting war with
robots that can detect your heart rate
from 40 miles away.
>> So, what do you what do you think of
what's going on in Iran?
>> It's [ __ ] terrifying.
>> Yeah,
>> all of it's terrifying. Anytime you're
involved with you you're shooting
missiles into towns and blowing things
up, blowing up infrastructure, blowing
up bridges,
>> you know, and Israel's blowing up
Lebanon now. It's like, what the [ __ ]
are we doing? Like, how is this still
going on? It's Well, it's also clear
there was no plan. Zero. None.
>> No.
>> Well, Netanyahu has been telling the
United States that that Iran was months
away from building a nuclear bomb for 30
years or 20 years at least.
>> They've always been saying that
>> that's
>> Trump was the first one to go, "All
right, let's do something about it." But
it seems like they didn't know what the
[ __ ] they're doing.
>> But there was there was something done
about it. He in his first year in
office, he uh he tore up the you know,
>> bunker buster bombs.
>> Yeah. But all all this, we're in a worse
place now than before this thing
started.
>> Yeah.
>> Um,
>> look, the Iranian regime is terrible.
Like what they do to their protesters
that I mean,
>> most people that voted for Trump or
wanted Trump to be in office, one of the
things that was attractive was this. No,
no more wars.
>> Sure. Of course.
>> And now we're in one of the craziest
ones.
>> Yeah. Uh,
>> and China's flying in cargo planes
filled with stuff. We don't know what
the [ __ ] in there. And
>> and Russia is giving Iran information
about where our troops are.
>> Super fun. Great times.
>> Oh, it's it's it's crazy and and scary,
too. I mean, uh,
>> science.org says it's
>> quantum sensors.
>> So, they say it's [ __ ]
>> Says it's not pla highly implausible.
>> Did quantum sensors help find a US pilot
shot down in Iran? Experts doubt it.
>> Yeah. Now, okay, here's an ignorant
question. He's shot down. Wouldn't you
know,
>> he's on foot. He's somewhere near that
site, right?
>> Can't go too far.
>> Yeah, it can't go too far,
>> right?
>> So, well, the thing is if he gets
ejected from the plane, I don't know how
he So, if he got shot down, the idea is
that he it gets ejected from the plane
and then parachutes. That could be a lot
of distance because sure
>> the plane's flying at a very high speed.
It's a an altitude undetermined. He
jumps out. Where? When does he jump out?
Is it a 100 miles away? Is it 50 miles
away? Is it 10 miles away? How far can
he walk? He's injured.
>> You know,
>> it's [ __ ] terrifying. It's just crazy
that,
>> you know, these uh the the the pilots or
the uh astronauts just went up into
space and circled around the moon and
came back. Yeah.
>> They all everybody that goes into space
has this experience called the overview
effect
>> where they go out there and they one of
the first things they go like, "Oh my
god, what are we doing?" Like, "How are
we pretending at these lines in the dirt
that we draw?"
>> Yeah. that it's all just a bunch of
people on this very fragile biological
spaceship.
>> Yep.
>> Yep.
>> Yeah. It's [ __ ] terrifying.
>> Yeah.
>> But like all things in the future, all
of it's terrifying. The whole the the
the future of mankind like it's so
perilous. It's so it's all so fragile.
All of it.
>> I know. And
it's to think of the stuff that we allow
the these external things that we allow
to affect our like you if there was ever
a time to just
be a good person. Live your life. Enjoy.
Try to try to spread some kindness and
some
joy, you know. Uh I mean it's now.
>> Yeah. You know,
>> it's a good time for comedy. People want
to go out and have fun. That's true.
>> Which reminds me, I have a special uh
>> That was the segway.
>> What's it on?
>> Uh there it is.
>> Is it on YouTube?
>> It's on YouTube. The end of the
beginning.
>> Where did you film it?
>> 40 W in Athens.
>> Oh, nice.
>> Yeah.
>> Nice.
>> Um
>> yeah, it was I I'm I'm happy with it.
>> Great. Fantastic.
>> Yeah. And uh it's out right now and
people can go check it out right now.
>> So are you in the process of writing new
stuff now or did you
>> Yeah, I'm I'm uh just beginning the
process. So I was saying before I'll go
out and I'll do you know because I don't
write um I can't sit down and write
jokes. That's just not how it works for
me. So all the writing is on stage. So I
tape everything. I go up with my notes
and I have a couple guests and I'll do
15 minutes, bring up guests, do another
15, bring up guests, do another
>> Oh, that's cool. Break it up into little
chunks.
>> Yeah. And I this way cuz you know, the
first couple shows were terrible. I've
got, you know, it's just me apologizing
for not having anything yet. But people
will I mean, I have people now uh who
will come to the second show and the
sixth show and then they'll come see me
on tour, you So, they want to see the
process. The process. Yeah. The
evolution of it. And uh
>> which is cool. And I And it's a it's as
I said, I I either walk or ride my bike
to every single venue. And they start
off small and then they get bigger and I
lose a guest. And then, you know, before
you know it, I've got, okay, I think
this is roughly the 75 minutes I'm going
to do. And then it's about sequencing,
which is really important, you know, and
then um I I take it out on the road. And
uh and so the idea is that I'll
probably late fall start back again. And
I love it. I
>> That's great.
>> [ __ ] love it.
>> It's the best, right?
>> I
>> standup is the most fun. I really when
and you know people will I'll do you I'm
doing press for this thing and people
will say of I know you do a lot of
things and what is your favorite I know
you're an you know and it's all I like I
like doing all of it but the thing that
I absolutely have to do is standup. I
can I'd be disappointed if I could never
act again or write or direct or whatever
but I'll be okay. But if you told me I
can't do standup, I would go crazy.
>> Well, I I went a little crazy during the
pandemic because
>> Oh, dude. It I almost And I I made this
part of the bit, but I almost the first
show I did, I started tearing up and I'm
in front. I mean, I'm doing this and it
was at the Sultan Room in Bushwick and
and I was like, man, I thought uh God, I
didn't know if I'd ever get to do this
again. And uh [ __ ] you know, I dreamed
about this day and it was a year and
seven months where I you're the longest
in since I've been doing this.
>> Such a strange feeling, isn't it?
>> A year and seven months where you and I
did some of those outdoor shows and
they're just not it's not the same
thing.
>> It's not the same.
>> Yeah. Well, that's awesome, man. I'm
glad you love it and best of luck with
the special.
>> Thank you, man.
>> This was fun. Enjoyed it. Thank you for
doing this. Absolutely. All right. Uh,
what's the name of it again? So people
can find
>> the end of the beginning of the end.
>> All right.
>> Yeah. All right. Thank you.
>> Thank you.
>> Bye everybody.