[@ChrisWillx] Why Men Have a Hard Time Understanding Women - Dr John Delony

Link: https://youtu.be/kIehKHjmDSI

Short Summary

Okay, here's a breakdown of the YouTube transcript:

• Number One Action Item/Takeaway: Men have an opportunity to significantly improve their dating prospects by simply being emotionally present, supportive, and committed partners because the bar for these qualities is surprisingly low.

• Executive Summary: The video discusses the common issues women face in relationships and dating, highlighting a desire for commitment and emotional connection. It suggests that many women are calling in because their partners are disengaged or exhibiting self-destructive behaviors, rather than focusing on superficial traits like height or income, presenting an opportunity for men to stand out by offering genuine emotional support.

Key Quotes

Here are four quotes extracted from the transcript, representing valuable insights:

1. "I think women were sold a bill of goods also. And the question that pops into my head is why won't he change? But I think the deeper question is, I did all of these things that they said and why don't I feel better about me or my world or my the life I've constructed for myself?" - This highlights a disillusionment some women experience after achieving societal expectations, prompting a search for deeper meaning.

2. "I waited this many years to have kids. I waited till I was financially secure. I waited till I had a career. I waited until I was on my own two feet. I got this level of success. I or the opposite. I went all in on this relationship at a very young age. I went fully all in. I think the meta message has been if you will do these things or the the tradife thing or the full CEO thing, whichever one it is, that somehow you're going to feel complete on the other end of this deal. And that feeling is elusive." - Illustrates that following prescriptive paths, whether traditional or career-focused, doesn't guarantee fulfillment and highlights the pressure to seek external validation.

3. "The other one is honestly is um are all men scumbags? Is every man out cheating? Is every man filling up his life with video games and pornography? Is every man >> and it's been it's it's harder and harder to defend when you look at the data." - Captures a common fear/concern of women, but also acknowledges the challenge in defending men against these claims, hinting at concerning trends.

4. "I'm watching I'm becoming someone I don't want to be because I'm watching the person I love wither away underneath me and I don't I don't know how to prop them up." - Expresses the pain of witnessing a partner's decline and the impact on one's own identity.

Detailed Summary

Okay, here's a detailed summary of the video transcript, focusing on the core arguments and information, excluding the sponsor announcement:

• Women Being "Sold a Bill of Goods":

  • The core issue isn't "Why won't he change?" but "Why don't I feel better about myself despite doing what I was told I should do?"
  • This refers to women who waited to have kids, focused on financial security/career, or went all-in on a relationship early, expecting fulfillment.
  • They were told doing these things would lead to a sense of completeness, but that feeling remains elusive. They are "desperately seeking this feeling that this is going to be okay."

• The Question of Men's Behavior:

  • The question arises if "all men are scumbags?" Are they all cheating, addicted to video games and pornography?
  • The speaker acknowledged that it becomes more challenging to defend men in the face of such trends.

• The Recursive Problem (Male Perspective):

  • Some men feel worthless. They view their home life as a failure.
  • They turn to video games as an escape: "Don't reject me."
  • This is seen as an exit strategy where they "don't bother anybody and just burn a hole in their head."

• The Low Bar for Men:

  • The speaker acknowledges that it can be tough for women navigating dating because men perceive that it's "way easier for women."
  • Men are encouraged to see the opportunity: The speaker highlights that this is a huge issue being discussed on the caller in radio show and counselling sessions.
  • The speaker explicitly tells his son that the bar is set "so low" for men.
  • Despite challenges of age, income, etc., many women are calling in with concerns other than financial status or physical appearance.

• What Women Are Calling About:

  • He hasn't received calls of women citing short men as an issue.
  • He hasn't received calls of women citing not enough income as an issue.
  • The common concerns expressed are:
    • Why won't he stop cheating?
    • How can I get him to "plug back in"?
    • How do I show him he's worth something?

• Deeper Issues Behind Seemingly Superficial Complaints:

  • While the speaker acknowledges that complaints about a husband's weight gain might sound superficial, the underlying issue is often:
    • "I'm watching my husband die in front of me, and I can't be a part of this anymore."
    • The caller is becoming someone they don't like, engaging in behaviors to get validation elsewhere (e.g., at work).
    • The caller doesn't know how to support their partner and is watching them "wither away."

• Dating Apps and Their Impact:

  • The speaker agrees that dating apps have had a detrimental effect on relationships, creating a "train wreck" situation.